My own little slice of the pie

11 Novembre 2011: Happy Veterans Day (and a lot more)

2011-11-11T09:08:00.000-05:00

I'd like to thank all of those brave men and women (including my father and brother) who have served to defend our freedoms around the world. My father saw service in Korea and my brother in Iraq.

And, on a lighter note, I'd love to see Mr. Bradley Cooper serving under me like this ...

Octobre 26 2011: A new beginning

2011-10-26T13:07:00.002-04:00

A good friend of mine recently closed down her blog on Tumblr. It was a nice blog to read, with her daily adventures and musings. I enjoyed reading it and am sad to see that it is gone.

For those of you who know me in the real world (and are left reading this blog ... hey, you with the green shirt), you will know that a lot has changed in the last 18 months since I have last posted. The most amazing thing is that I am now engaged to the most wonderful man that I could ever imagine. We are planning a civil ceremony in DC. I am so happy.

Realizing the support that I received from the blogger community (and the fact that I find I need a creative outlet), I have decided to resurrect this dear old friend.

From your favorite Balti-whore ... let's get back in the saddle!

15 Mars 2010: Love is in the air

2010-03-15T13:46:00.003-04:00

Or at least I hope that it is!

After a long winter hibernation, my romantic sensibilities are in full flutter. I've been a member of Chemistry.com for about 6 months now (this is definitely not yet an endorsement). During that time, I have met some interesting men (both good and bad). All of that may have changed (the bad part, anyway) based on a very nice first date yesterday. I know that it is too soon to be shopping for engagement rings, but I can at least check them out on line, right?

I met someone yesterday for a cake date that, on paper, seemed to be the perfect match for me. The arcs of our life stories (at least how we represented them in our profiles) seemed to flow nicely together. We are both divorced, we both have children, we both are professionals, we are both in our late thirties, and so on. Of course, looking good on paper can lead to a let down on that first date - hence the cake date (giving us each an out if things weren't going well).

Let me state that things didn't get off to a great start. He was 90 minutes late. Sixty of those minutes had to do with daylight savings time - I remembered and he didn't. The other thirty can only be chalked up to the fact that he was traveling from DC to an area where he had never been. He called, so I was fine - took a walk and asked him to call me when he got to the restaurant.

After getting his call, I walked into the cafe about five minutes behind him. I asked the hostess to seat me and, as she was looking for him, a very attractive (drop-dead gorgeous would apply) man stands up toward the rear of the room. In my head, I am repeated "let it be him" over and over [A 'Jumping Jack Flash' reference]. Fortunately for me, it was my date. He stood as I arrived and sat down after I did.

The conversation flowed. We shared our interests and passions. We talked about kids. We laughed and laughed, and then laughed some more. I couldn't help but stare into his eyes ... I lost myself in those golden-green pools. He asked me about my coming out story and divorce. I shared with him and he had a very similar experience.

After more than two hours, we parted ways. I wanted so bad to give him a kiss, perhaps a peck on the cheek - but I was too timid. I won't make that mistake the second time around.

21 Decembre 2009: A second chance

2009-12-21T20:56:00.002-05:00

About two months ago, I went on a first date with a man that I met on Chemistry.com. We had a wonderful time that evening and continued to see one another for about 6 or 7 more dates (can't quite recall at the moment). As time progressed and our number of dates increased, I could feel myself developing feelings for him. I could also tell that he was developing feelings for me. Our conversations and the time that we spent together were deepening. We had both decided to delay our sexual gratification. Everything seemed to be falling in to place. Could I end up with a boyfriend that was my age, attractive, funny, smart, and lived only 10 minutes from my house (and that is walking)?

The short answer at that time was NO. He invited me to brunch one Sunday morning. We had a wonderful meal and our conversation was on par. About two-thirds of the way through the meal, he announced that he had something to tell me. His eyes started to tear up. I honestly thought that he was going to tell me that he loved me. That was the vibe that I was getting from him. What he ended up telling me was that he had no romantic feelings for me. He would, however, like to be friends.

OK, I was floored I will admit. But such is life ... I can understand that not every man that I sit across from at a table will fall madly and deeply in love with me. But I really thought that I was reading a deepening of his feelings. Was my radar off that much? After brunch (which I made him pay for because, "I don't pay for meals where I get dumped"), we had a wonderful walk through the campus before parting ways. In the intervening weeks, we've kept in touch via e-mail and text messages (his initiation) and even gone hiking (again, his invitation - I felt that if he really wanted to be friends, he could make the first few overtures).

Well, late last week, I get an e-mail from him ...

I wanted to drop you a note tonight. Its been awhile since we've seen each other ... I guess I wanted to reach out to you because I miss you. I know I was the one who ended that day at Donna's when we had lunch. The problem is that I haven't been able to get you out of my mind... I do think about you and all the fun times we had when we were dating. With Chemistry, you immediately start dating before even being friends... and its a different dynamic. I got scared and I was so worried about going deeper and I was worried about hurting you. I liked you so much and I thought I would be such an asshole boyfriend that I would immediately hurt you. And that's why I ended it... I wanted to end it before you were really invested. I liked you so much as a really great guy that I didn't want to be the bad guy. The thing is... since I said those words to you, I've contemplated a lot on it. I know I like you... and I want to date you. I don't know where its going to go in the future, but I'm mad at myself for stopping it prematurely. That was a knee jerk reaction and one that I shouldn't have done. I do want to date you... and I do have feelings for you. If you still do, after my shiteous actions... I would still like to. I'm sorry... I got scared. I'm not very good at this. But I know for a fact that you are a really great guy and we have a fun and great time when we hang out together. I'm going to stop blubbering on now.... I hope I made my point.

That is the e-mail that he sent to me. I responded with a short missive telling him that getting scared was part of the process of opening yourself up to someone else. It is normal to be scared; running away, however, is not.

While I still have feelings for him, they have shallowed over the intervening weeks (get it, as in haven't deepened). I am at a loss for what to do. We are supposed to see one another this Saturday. If that works out, I have a few questions for him.

1. What is it that makes him feel that he would be such a horrible boyfriend?
2. How is he going to work to prevent running away in the future if things get scary for him?

Any others? A friend of mine brought up the point that perhaps he was seeing someone else at the same time (natural, I am sure) and thought that the other relationship was going somewhere. Now I become the rebound guy (I don't like that scenario).

What are your thoughts? What are your suggestions?

As always your lovable (and confused) Balti-whore.

10 Decembre 2009: Home again

2009-12-10T23:02:00.003-05:00

I am finally back home ... after my short jaunt to Chicago. It was a wonderful trip, but frigidly cold - the wind cut through me. I was in town for a workshop on the new patient reported outcomes measurement information system (PROMIS) funded by NIH and coordinated by Northwestern University.

While the workshop was wonderful, I also got a chance to hang out with my friends Fausto and Marc ... you know, that irascible couple that is the Feast of Fun. We met up on Wednesday for a bit ... headed to a restaurant. Laughing over tapas and sangria. What a way to heat up a wintry Chicago night.

A funny thing happened on the way to the Apollo ... well, on the way home. I got to the airport rather early ... thanks to the traffic on the way to O'Hare not being to hellish. To kill time, I pondered heading to Starbucks for coffee or to Berghoff's for a beer. Since I had been drinking coffee and eating cookies all day at the workshop, the beer won. After muscling up to the bar, I asked Maria for a nice lager. Delicious. Sitting next to me at the bar was a handsome man. I used my mad skills to engage this dapper dude in conversation. Unfortunately, the televisions were broadcasting some sports programming ... you know how deep into sports my knowledge runs. Regardless of that, we spent the next hour laughing and talking. Like all good things, this came to an end.

I headed over to my gate, having 30 minutes left before boarding. I headed to the bathroom ... you only rent beer (or at least I heard some straight guy say). Who would be walking out of the bathroom ... Danny from Berghoff's. OK, I wasn't stalking him, seriously. Anyway, I wished him a safe trip. Headed back to the gate. Ten minutes later, who would be coming over, but Danny. He wanted my number so that we could keep in touch. What is it with me and handsome men from out of town? I guess I kinda sorta got it ... I just need to work on my geography.

So, with my ego pumped up ... I am back home for a nice winter's nap.

Goodnight, from your favorite (man-magnet) Balti-whore.

9 Decembre 2009: A wintry day

2009-12-09T19:53:00.003-05:00

After careful introspection, it probably is more than lust (see last post). For all that this matters, however, it might as well be nothing. I would say that it is nearly impossible to begin a trans-continental relationship with a one-night stand (no matter how much you are each in to each other). Of course, I am a hopeless romantic - which causes my heart to jump way out in front of reality.

That said, I am struggling to keep warm on my latest travel adventure. I am attending a one day conference in chilly Chicago. I arrived this afternoon and will be leaving tomorrow evening. What a whirlwind this is. I took a walk this afternoon (note the picture of the festive lion outside of the Art Institute of Chicago). I had to make a trek down to the lake. I had snapped so many pictures of the lake this summer, the sun shimmering off of its surface, that I had to see it in this wintry mess. It did not disappoint.

Walking back, I can imagine that I cut quite the image. Strolling down the street, listening to the latest Jack Penate, snow falling into my eyelashes, and a huge smile on my face. People probably thought that I was simple. Each must march to his own drum. Mine was beating on the sensations coursing through my body ... hot coffee warming me from the inside, wind whipping around my neck sending shivers down my spine (the same that I experienced in SL,UT with a certain someone), snowflakes burning my eyes with their cold wetness ... making me realize that I was, indeed, alive.

Now, after a satisfying dinner of steak and chips, I await my next adventure. Hanging out with some wonderful friend here in Chi-town. I just hope that I don't oversleep for my workshop tomorrow. That would be a bad thing.

Here in the windy (and wintry) city, is your favorite Balti-whore (haven't used that one in a while). Peace!

Decembre 7, 2009: Lust or love? That is the question

2009-12-07T10:30:00.002-05:00

I have no idea if anyone reads this anymore. In some respects, if no one does than it makes a great diary. One that I can access anywhere there is an Internet connection. If people do still read this blog, I apologize for the sparsity of content recently.

I have just returned from a trip to Salt Lake City, UT, where I attended a work-related conference. I have found that during my trips to strange cities, using social networking sites can be a great way to get ideas about restaurants, clubs, museums, and other local attractions. This has served me well in San Juan, San Diego, San Francisco ... basically any city named after a saint. Well, SLC was no difference (OK, perhaps it's cities that begin with "Sa"). Anyway, I got a few decent recommendations.

I usually don't use these sights for sexual hook-ups ... I find that I can have a hard time separating physical and emotional intimacy. That said, a little bird did happen to catch my eye. It was his beautiful smile ... it shone through his picture ... I wanted to be the cause for that smile. After chatting for a bit, we decided to meet. Contrary to all of my cautious ways, I told him to pick me up at my hotel. When I got in to his car, any reservations that I had simply melted away under the rays of his smile. On the quick drive through town (we decided to head to his favorite coffee shop), our conversation flowed as if we were old friends. Mochas from Coffee Garden in hand, we browed a local novelty shop and then took a stroll through the small neighborhood that is 9th and Ninth. Then we took a walk through Liberty Park. The air was chilly, but the ebb and flow of our rapport kept us both warm.

One thing that astonished me about our conversation was the candor that developed. I told him about deep emotional things (scars and all) that I had never told another living soul. He seemed to be sharing a similar level of intimacy with me. My friends here in B'mo say that it's because neither of us had anything to loose (we'd never see each other again).

Of course, being men, the talk slowly turned to sex. I believe that the exact moment was when I was making a comment about the temple underwear that Mormons wear and thinking that it must be sexy. He responded that he was wearing sexy underwear. I countered that I'd like to see that ... and off to the car and the hotel we sped.

I am not going to describe the actual act, there are plenty of sights for that. What I will say, however, is that there seemed to be a deep emotional connection. We acted like two people who had been doing this together for quite some time. There was a natural rhythm and a playfulness. We actually talked during sex ... and I don't mean dirty talk. We were comfortable to tell the other what we liked and disliked. When were were both satisfied, he took a shower, inviting me in. We kissed and caressed under the hot spray of water.

After dressing, we stood on the balcony overlooking the frosty city. We spoke of our dreams for the future and our plans for the present. He is to begin nursing school in the next year or so. Perhaps that would bring him east. With children, I know that I won't be moving to Salt Lake - not that it would be all that bad. Hmm?

As for never seeing him again, that is a real possibility. We have corresponded electronically thrice since I've returned. He will be coming to Baltimore this summer to visit a friend. Perhaps we can develop a friendship. In any event, this encounter has rekindled my romantic desire. Who knew that would happen in SL,UT!

9 Septembre 2009: A new beginning

2009-09-08T15:55:00.003-04:00

I can't believe that the entire summer has slipped away between postings. I have definitely been a bad boy. With Facebook, however, the urgency to post on Blogger has not been as great as it previously was. Of course, that really is no excuse.

The girls are back in school, I've ended my nearly two year relationship with John, and I'm investigating the possibilities for true romance in my life. I am hoping for a very exciting Fall.

01 Juin 2009: Heat and Humidity

2009-06-01T07:40:00.003-04:00

Spring in Baltimore has been wet and temperate this year. While my oldest daughter has lamented all of the rain Tuesdays and Thursdays (that have meant canceled softball games and practices), the trees and reservoirs are undoubtedly happy. Today is June 1st, the traditional day when I feel that it is acceptable to turn on the air conditioner. Fortunately, the forecast for this week is more mild weather, so I'll forgo that shock to my utility bill for at least seven more days.

I have a question to the readers of my notes, what do you do to keep your abode cool in the summer? Undoubtedly, there will be different solutions for apartment-dwellers and those residing in homes (both townhouses and single family homes). I'd love to hear some suggestions in battling the heat and humidity that is just around the corner. When I was young, my grandparents had an elaborate schedule of window blinds, half-opened windows, and a large exhaust fan in the kitchen to keep their brick oven townhouse in Baltimore City cool. Most of us don't have the luxury of being home all day to combat the heat.

Until I hear from you, I will be scouring the Internet and my local library for tips on keeping cool.

06 Mai 2009. I'll have mine with butter

2009-05-06T13:34:00.001-04:00

That's Maine lobster for y'all!

Today Governor Baldacci, once a foe of gay marriage in favor of civil unions, signed legislation making Maine the 5th state of the union to recognize equality under the law for gay and lesbian Americans. Hurray for you, John Baldacci!

04 Mai 2009: Time to play in the garden

2009-05-04T12:33:00.003-04:00

We are just getting back from a rainy weekend here in Baltimore. Fortunately, the weather cooperated on Saturday for the bazaar at my daughters' school. We had passing drizzle in the morning, but it cleared to be a nice, though overcast, day.

As part of my continuing fascination with Ewan, I wanted to post this delightful picture of him. I can almost imagine roaming through a formal English garden, turning the corner, and seeing him pressed against the shrubbery.

I hope that you enjoy this half as much as I do!

30 Avril 2009: Mr. Green Jeans

2009-04-30T09:43:00.003-04:00

On this, the last day of April, I thought that I would report on my progress toward reducing my carbon footprint and living a greener existence. Of course, I recycle and have attempted to reduce the amount of waste that I create, but I wanted to do more.

On the homefront, I have installed window blinds and curtains to cut down on drafts and direct sun exposure (black-out curtains have been a godsend). In order to further reduce my electricity use (and cut down on indoor heat generation), I have replaced all (but the bathroom vanity) light bulbs with CFLs. Sure they were more expensive, but they will pay for themselves. PlanetGreen has some wonderful ideas for further sprucing up your pad!

Now, many of you know that I live in an apartment, so my options for gardening are limited. However, I haven't let that stop me. After having my apartment painted (with VOC free paint, I might add), I decided to add a bit of greenery to further spruce the place up (and improve indoor air quality). At first, I added some bamboo - very chic. Then I started to think about eating habits. I have decided (and will complete this weekend) the installation of an indoor salad garden. Outside, I have planted a container herb garden with things that I use regularly in the kitchen (basil, thyme, rosemary, and parsley). This will greatly reduce the carbon footprint of my salads and herbal pultices.

I have even begun to tackle the notion of green cleaning. For years, I have used a simple solution of Murphy's Oil Soap and water for most of my cleaning needs. To my mind, Murphy's is pretty environmentally neutral. However, I do have my glass cleaner and my shower spray (and my reliance on bleach as a good disinfectant). Watching "How Clean is your House" has inspired me to be "cheap and cheerful" with vinegar. This weekend, I am going to make a scouring scrub to tackle the bathroom. Here is the recipe:

Large-mouthed glass jar with screw top lid that holds at least 2 cups
2 cups of baking soda
½ cup of white distilled vinegar
10-12 drops of essential oil

As a natural anti-bacterial, vinegar might just replace my bleach! I still need to tackle environmentally friendly laundry - though I do only use cold water to wash my clothes (thereby reducing the amount of energy to heat the water).

At work, I have been less good about reducing my carbon footprint; however, that is changing. My office recently started to recycle paper and plastic - so that will definitely help. I have always used the n-print option to print multiple page views on a single piece of paper (reducing paper use, but increasing eye use). I have taken to turning my office lights on bright days to use natural light instead. Unfortunately, as I write this it is overcast outside and my lights are on. Finally, I plan on using the stairs to trudge up and down the five flights (96 steps) to my office each day. This will reduce the amount of energy to lift (and lower) my shrinking frame each day.

That's about it for now, its a work in progress. What are you doing to reduce your carbon footprint and live a greener life? I'd love to hear about your experiences. Signing off with much (green) love is your favorite Balti-ho.

15 Avril 2009: Tax(ing) day

2009-04-15T08:01:00.002-04:00

On this rainy 15th day of April, I thought that I would send out a toasty little picture of that legendary song-and-dance man Gene Kelly. John and I spent a wonderful evening last night at The Hippo watching video clips of musicals. I was treated to two wonderful clips of Mr. Kelly ... "Singing in the Rain" and "Good Morning". Delightful!

09 Avril 2009: Making the move

2009-04-09T09:00:00.002-04:00

In the Fall of 2006, my trusty Dell Latitude laptop had its screen cracked by an errant set of keys (aimed at my head). This led me to purchase my first Apple computer (actually my second, but the first one for my use). It was a trusty black MacBook and I still use it as the sole computer at home (housing my pictures, movies, and music).

With the advent of virtualization software for the Intel Macs, I was able to move from a behemoth desktop PC at work to the sleek and sexy iMac (aluminum case). I made that sweet little purchase early 2008. Unfortunately, however, since that time I have been operating in alternate worlds. Any web-based searches that I need to perform for work take place on the Mac side. Any document writing or statistical analyses that I need to generate take place on the Windows side. While it is efficient, it isn't very elegant.

Unfortunately, I can't make a complete switch away from Windows because one of the software packages vital to my work does not exist on the Mac side (here that SAS Institute!). However, I have made a more substantial move to nirvana. Yesterday, I moved all of my work-related files from the Windows virtual machine to the Apple Documents folder.

Now, I will prepare my spreadsheets and documents in a more pristine environment. I will merrily check e-mail with Groupwise for Mac. When I need to analyze a dataset, however, I will trudge back to the Windows side. I am considering skuttling SAS in favor of a program that offers more flexibility in operating system platforms, but that is a very hard decision to make (years and years of coding templates already written).

For now, I am still tethered to my Windows; only now, only my pinky toe is in the noose!

07 Avril 2009: A sweet victory

2009-04-07T16:25:00.003-04:00

I have always loved to smother my buttermilk pancakes with the delicious sweetness of Vermont maple syrup. Now comes news that is just as rich from The Green Mountain State. Today the Legislature was able to override the veto of Republican Governor Jim Douglas to legally recognize marriage equality to all Vermonters.

The Senate handily dealt with the veto thanks to its overwhelming original passage (23-5). A special thanks to Senate sponsors of S-115, Senators Peter Shumlin, John Campbell, and Claire Ayer.

The House eked out a victory for fairness (100-49). Special considerate to those fair-minded representatives that supported this bill.

In related news, the DC Council has unanimously voted to recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. Perhaps this is the first step to legalizing marriage equality in the district. This would surely bring a battle with Congress over Home Rule.

02 Avril 2009: He's looking through you

2009-04-02T13:17:00.003-04:00

I have been thinking a lot about my future ex-husband lately. Perhaps it has to do with the many times that I have seen clips of Moulin Rouge at The Hippo. Perhaps it has to do with certain feelings being awakened now that it is Spring. Perhaps it just has to do with the fact that he is damn hot!

In any case, enjoy!

25 Mars 2009: How precious

2009-03-25T14:13:00.003-04:00

I had a minor question about my Bank of America credit card this afternoon. I am working on a project and being serenaded by Ewan MacGregor (a la Moulin Rouge), so I decided to use their on-line chat feature. Having read in recent months and years about the use of off-shore customer service firms to handle these tasks, I was fully expecting to see an unusual name attached to the agent. However, I was not prepared for this little gem.

Isn't that just precious!

13 Mars 2009: Dewey 613

2009-03-12T09:58:00.002-04:00

Last night I was treated to an interesting discussion on the sexuality/human development curriculum at my daughters' school. The event was open to parents of girls in 4th and 5th grades, as the unit is offered to 5th grade girls following Spring Break. The speaker was a very knowledgeable woman in her early sixties. Despite her age, I found her approach to the topic to be open and free from traditionalist biases.

Having grown up in a family and school that placed great emphasis on heteronormative development, I worry about the messages that are given to children today. When I asked my parents to explain human sexuality (OK, not in those mature terms), I was given a rudimentary explanation ("the birds do it, the bees do it, even educated fleas do it") and promptly dropped off at the local public library. The books that I found (this was 1983) were wonderful sources of scientific explanations for puberty and reproduction. Unfortunately, what I had been asking (in a veiled manner) was for help in dealing with nascent same-sex attraction.

In a recent Google search, I stumbled upon the book "Growing Up Gay," a chronicle of 40 individuals and the personal struggles that they endured as young and gay in America. I haven't yet read this book, though it is on my nightstand. There was an interesting article in Time Magazine titled "The Battle Over Gay Teens," John Cloud reported on the trend for young gays and lesbians to report their first same-sex attraction at a very early age (12 and 10 years old) compared to their adult counterparts of previous generations (17 and 14 years old).

I was about on target in my sexual development when I approached my parents in 1983 (OK, right on target would have made me a lesbian, but you get my point). Teaching the children of today (starting at a very young age) that sexuality exists on a continuum, that there are boys that love boys and girls that love girls, will go a long way in raising healthier young gays and lesbians and in building a far more tolerant and open society. Its a lot better than having little boys and girls sneaking off to the library or to the school yard to learn it on their own!

4 Mars 2008: Today's image of Ewan McGregor

2009-03-04T15:01:00.003-05:00

Here's a delicious picture of my future ex-husband Ewan McGregor. Doesn't he look simply scrumptious in his kilt?

3 Mars 2009: Pioneer Days

2009-03-03T16:31:00.002-05:00

Today was the Pioneer Picnic for my daughter's second grade class.

The event capped a multi-week lesson plan whereby the girls learned about those dirty words Manifest Destiny. Language arts, science, and social studies were integrated to give the girls a taste of pioneer life. I was fortunate enough to lead the girls in a once-weekly cooking demonstration for four weeks. We made corn bread, apple sauce, stew, and peach cobbler. Delicious!

At the picnic, each girl was dressed in period costume, parents brought blankets and picnic hampers. I made a few selections from our cooking demonstration ... buffalo stew and corn bread. The girls treated us to a song and two dance numbers. The highlight had to be the square dance that the girls did. It was amazing to see them do-si-do, allemande left, and swing their partners. OK, that last one could be dangerous.

I know that this is a departure from recent posting, but I wanted to share.

26 Fevrier 2009: Putting the LDS on notice

2009-02-26T10:24:00.003-05:00

OK. Some time ago all hell hit the fan when it was discovered the massive infusion of cash (and services) that the Church of Latter Day Saints ... the Mormons ... gave to support the passage of Prop H8.

At that time, those of us in the blog-o-sphere (or those that read blogs) were urged to rally their support behind our down-trodden brothers and sisters. Part of that show of support was to officially petition the IRS to investigate the improper involvement of the LDS in political manners. It was a simple way of demonstrating our support. Well, I'm not sure where the investigation stands, but at left is proof that at least one complaint made it through.

I must admit that I was worried about getting my name mixed in with both the LDS and the IRS (when I received the official envelop, I was concerned that I was being audited), but it gave me a good feeling to at least realize that I may be having some (very) small impact to reinforce the separation between church and state.

As for my reward, I'll take either this or that. I think that is a reasonable request!

23 Fevrier 2009: Today's gratuitous picture of Bradley Cooper

2009-02-23T20:39:00.004-05:00

Just a little something to warm me up on a cold winter's day. I hope that everyone enjoyed the Oscar's last night. I must say that I read about them this morning. I was too engrossed in a book about the events leading up to the Boston Massacre to turn on the television.

09 Fevrier 2009: Gratuitous picture of Bradley Cooper

2009-02-09T13:41:00.008-05:00

Emulating some better-known bloggers, I have fetishes too!

"I had size 12 feet when I was 10, so I thought I was going to be 6' 8". My goal was to be able to dunk a basket. I wound up being 6' 1" with size 14 feet. I got the raw end of the deal." - Bradley Cooper

06 Fevrier 2009: Courage Campaign

2009-02-06T09:43:00.002-05:00

Given my recent marital meltdown (I am officially divorced if you recall), I am probably the last person that should be shouting from the rooftops to protect marriage from divorce. However, when said divorce is the result of a court action meant to deny basic civil rights to a loving couple, my blood gets boiling. Here is a beautiful video clip produced by the Courage Campaign to counter the hatred spewed (once again) by Ken Starr.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

The web-site offers visitors the option of e-signing a petition to urge the California Supreme Court to invalidate Prop H8 and to preserve the 18,000 marriages that were performed in California. Please lend your voice, even if you don't reside in the Golden State.

01 Fevrier 2009: Your leader may be a bull-dog ...

2009-02-01T10:26:00.003-05:00

... but our PM is a bull dyke!

Now before you get into a huff ... I mean that in the kindest sense of the words. I was so excited to read yesterday that Iceland is making history on two counts. National history in electing their first female prime minister and international history by electing the first openly gay person as head of state.

From the Guardian UK:

Johanna Sigurdardottir, who would also be Iceland's first woman prime minister, owes her sudden elevation to the removal of the previous coalition after weeks of raucous street protests whipped up by anger and desolation at the startling collapse of Iceland's financial system. She was expected to head a coalition of her own Social Democratic party with the Left-Greens, who have emerged from the crisis as probably Europe's most popular Green party.

In 2002, at the age of 60, she married Jonina Leosdottir, a writer, in a civil ceremony.

So let's not refrain from our own street protests here in this country. Just because we may have an ally in the White House should not give us a sense of fait accompli when it comes to the important civil rights issues facing this great nation.

Signing off on a chilly Sunday morning is everyone's favorite (keyed-up) Balti-whore.

29 Janvier 2009: Grass-phalt

2009-01-29T09:44:00.005-05:00

As the US Congress grapples with the stimulus package presented by the Obama administration, I thought that I would throw out these great pictures from the environmental web-site Inhabitat.

A central part of the aforementioned legislation is considered "infrastructure investment." This could mean the shoring up of our highways and bridges, but it could also mean developing useful mass transit solutions to grid-locked urban areas. As we see in these pictures, the Europeans have devised a way to incorporate an environmental element into this design. The use of grass-phalt (simply carpets of grass supplanting concrete and asphalt) serves several purposes.

First, by reducing the amount of heat-holding road surfacing it breaks up the urban heat island that causes nighttime temperatures to stay elevated during summer months (thus requiring more air conditioning). Second, by providing a permeable surface, it gives rain water a place to go other than overload sewer systems and inundated natural water ways (thereby reducing down-stream pollution from run-off). Third, it provides a beautiful aesthetic to downtown neighborhoods and can be incorporated into other "greening" movements (thus providing some stress relief to our work-weary urbanites).

In order for these types of legislation to gain traction and to become law, it is imperative that we urge the Obama administration and our representatives in the House and Senate to fully support smart investment in our country's infrastructure.

27 Janvier 2009: Hodge-podge lodge

2009-01-27T15:42:00.003-05:00

First of all, I am loving the new White House web-site. Not only is it visually pleasing, but it contains such a wealth of information on policy statements. I am truly looking forward to this new administration (as I am sure many of you are). Here is a screen shot of the new site that, on a snowy day in B'mo makes me long for spring even more! I hope that I am not infringing on any copyright laws! Oh wait, wrong administration - this one isn't trolling the airwaves, telephone lines, and optic cables looking for "suspicious activity."

Secondly, my office is feeling the economic shocks of 9/11. We are no longer offered bottom-less cups of free coffee made to order by our little kitchen gadget. Now, if we want to partake of the heavenly brew, we are forced to fork over 2 shiny little quarters. Still not bad, I know ... but all of my quarters are doing laundry duty (you should see how they fold fitted sheets!). So, since I have no quarters (but I do have bananas), I have taken to drinking hot tea. I am loving my Teavana set. I can portion out the leaves (and berries and twigs) into my nifty brewing container, add hot water, and drink my perfectly steeped beverage. The only problem ... what to do with the leavings? Our kitchenette doesn't have a garbage disposal (that's garburator for my Canadian friends).

Thirdly, I have just returned (a few hours ago) to the office. My youngest daughter's class is learning about pioneer culture in the expansion westward (remember Manifest Destiny? It is so not PC these days). As part of a four-week curricular event, parents are coming in to assist small groups of girls in one of the pioneer crafts, such as sewing or knitting. I was asked to lead the group cooking. We made delicious cornbread today. It was such a treat to watch the girls measuring and pouring and mixing. They had such a good time. While the bread was a-bakin', we had the girls make their own butter. Never before have I seen such hilarious butter dances!

He wasn't there at the school, but I thought it would be educational for y'all.

Signing off with loads of love (and love-handles after the butter and bread) is your favorite Balti-whore!

20 Janvier 2009: On the eve ...

2009-01-19T20:57:00.002-05:00

It is ever important that we all remain vigilant. The country is on the verge of a new dawn. While we face many challenges, it is important for the United States to live up to its founding principles ... that all men (and women) are created equal. Be sure the demand equal rights (and responsibilities) from your local, state, and national government.

24 Novembre 2008: A new future

2008-11-24T14:00:00.002-05:00

As I write this, I am struggling to reconcile the many life changes that have occurred in the last four years. Some of you may already now, but my marriage of nearly 16 years has come to an official end. Last week, Wednesday to be exact, a judge accepted my petition for absolute divorce. It was a bittersweet end to over two years of wrangling over so many small (and large) issues. In the end, I am happy to say, that I got everything that I wanted. I was fortunate to have a very skilled advocate working to help me through this difficult period.

Now, however, I find it hard to adjust to life after divorce. Certainly, you may say, you have been living your life as a single gay father for the past two years. In many respects that is true, however, I still had that essential family core (at least on paper). Now it is gone. That is not to say that I miss being married to a woman. It just means that I am mourning the passage of what was once a very happy part of my life. Now, as another chapter opens, I am naturally filled with a mixed sense of excitement and apprehension.

I'll try to post a more coherent message before the holidays encroach. Needless to say, I will be spending Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle and my cousin. Then I will have the pleasure of hosting my beautiful ladies for dessert! It is a good life that I lead!

Thank you to everyone for your continued love and support. Signing off with much love is your favorite Balti-whore!

10 Novembre 2008: Add Terminator to your Netflix queue

2008-11-10T09:04:00.001-05:00

Anyone with a political pulse has been watching the unfolding events in California. After the sad passage of Proposition Hate, codifying discrimination into the constitution of the Golden State, there have been thousands of civic-minded citizens marching peacefully through the streets. They have marched through San Francisco, through Los Angeles, through San Diego. Peaceful vigils have been held outside of Mormon temples throughout the country. I think that the people must be heard on this issue. Apparently, the Terminator has heard them.

Said Schwarzenegger: "I think that the people of California just again have spoken on this issue and they went against it. Just like in the year 2000 when they voted against it with Proposition 22. They had a very, very strong campaign the pro- Prop 8 people, and I think that the people that tried to defeat it did not have maybe as good a campaign or as much money behind it. Whatever. I think it is unfortunate obviously but it's not the end because I think this will go back into the courts, this will go back to the Supreme Court because the Supreme Court very clearly in California has declared this unconstitutional. It's the same as in the 1948 case when blacks and whites were not allowed to marry. So I think that we will again maybe undo that, if the court is willing to do that, and then move forward from there and again lead in that area."

On a personal note, I am not sure if I would ever want to get married again. In these past two years, I have reveled in my relative freedoms. Sure it has been lonely at times, but the ability to be master of my own ship has been priceless. However, I think that civil marriage is a government-bestowed right (with legal protections that cannot be granted through any other means). While it would be wonderful for churches to sanction these loving unions, I don't think that it is necessary. Only in the Catholic church is marriage a sacrament.

15 Octobre 2008: Just say no ...

2008-10-15T15:24:00.005-04:00

... or help those in CA, AZ, and FL that have that opportunity!

I'm writing this from the beautiful city of Toronto. Here's a shout-out to all of the guys at Churchmouse & Finrick ... I had a great time talking about the Canadian election, hockey rules and regulations, and the fact that they "like 'em big in Canada." I guess that I am in good company, wink wink!

10 Octobre 2008: Just in time for Fall Foliage tours

2008-10-10T12:27:00.005-04:00

I couldn't be more proud of our judicial branch than I am today. OK, that's not entirely true (thanks MD high court!) ... but this is a step in the right direction.

In yet another watershed moment for the LGBT civil rights movement, the Connecticut Supreme Court ruled 4-3 today that it is unconstitutional to deny marriage equality to gay and lesbian couples. The decision overturns a lower court ruling that found no real harm to same-sex couples because Connecticut grants many of the state-level protections of married couples through civil unions. The Supreme Court disagreed with the lower court and ruled that the civil unions scheme is not acceptable and discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation.

"Today's historic decision in Connecticut represents real progress for all Americans who cherish justice and fairness," said Executive Director Dan Furmansky. "Wanting to commit to the person you love and assure that your relationship and your family has every legal protection available is basic human nature. This ruling will strongly impact our efforts to end marriage discrimination in Maryland, and Equality Maryland will not stop until that has been achieved."

Connecticut is now the third U.S. state to grant the freedom to marry to same-sex couples, after Massachusetts and California. New York, in addition, recognizes marriages betweens same-sex couples performed in other states.

"I'm so grateful to see that courts are finally recognizing what we knew all along, which is that love is love and all people are deserving of respect and equal treatment under the law," said Lisa Polyak, the lead plaintiff with her partner of 27-years, Gita Deane, in Maryland's marriage equality court case, which failed 4-3 in September 2007. "It's a continuing sadness to me that Maryland couldn't be one of these states, and I hope the Governor and legislature will work as quickly as possible to remedy this very clear and very unnecessary deficiency."

Equality Maryland congratulates the couples who challenged Connecticut's denial of marriage licenses, as well as the primary organizations - Love Makes a Family and Gay and Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) - who worked to make today's victory possible.

Click here to read the full opinion.

Below is a short clip supporting the importance of the word "marriage" by Emmy award-winning director Fran Rzeznik.

Octobre 8 2008: Are we heading for the Gulag?

2008-10-08T15:33:00.002-04:00

It would be wonderful if we were to be watching the implosion of the Republican senator's campaign to snatch the White House this November. However, I fear that we may actually be seeing a glimpse of things to come.

Als die Nazis die Kommunisten holten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Kommunist.

Als sie die Sozialdemokraten einsperrten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Sozialdemokrat.

Als sie die Gewerkschafter holten,
habe ich nicht protestiert;
ich war ja kein Gewerkschafter.

Als sie die Juden holten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Jude.

Als sie mich holten,
gab es keinen mehr, der protestieren konnte.

--- Martin Niemöller (January 6, 1946)

John McCain wants to remove a women's right to control her reproductive system, supports the idea of looking up individuals without providing due process, and has hinted at the idea of re-criminalizing homosexuality. OK, that last one was a stretch ...

Nevertheless, we had better stand up and protest through our vote come November 4th!

5 Octobre 2008: Take it to the streets

2008-10-05T19:07:00.006-04:00

As many of you realize, neither of our potential presidents openly supports gay marriage. We have Sarah Palin talking about "tolerating" us. Isn't that cute. We have Joe Biden working his way around the issue with blatent political pandering. While I do believe that we will have a better time of things with an Obama/Biden administration, I don't think that we should let them have our support without some work on their part. That, of course, means that we have to take it to the streets (and I'm not talking about earning some spending money!).

The video (and song) here were produced by the wonderful independent singer-songwriter Tom Goss. Tom is a DC based social justice activist that has taken a rather circuitous route to bring us some wonderful thought-provoking music. I highly recommend him to anyone that reads this little ole blog.

I was listening to my favorite podcast The Feast of Fools the other day. The guests on this particular episode were activists planning a Chicago march in honor of the anniversary of Matthew Shepard's tragic murder. These two gentlemen shared my same thought ... for far too long, the Democratic Party has taken the support of gay men and women for granted. Whoever is elected this Fall, we need to take to the streets to demand our rights. These include hate crimes legislation, employment and housing non-discrimination, immigration reform, and (of course) marriage equality. Without civil rights, why should we be civil. Vive le Revolucion!

29 Septembre 2008: A funding source for the bail-out

2008-09-29T13:01:00.003-04:00

Republicans and Democrats rejoice!

I've discovered a new funding source for the proposed federal bail-out (buy-in) of the troubled US financial services sector. In a related story, it seems that at least 33 anti-gay pastors in 22 states have taken it upon themselves to preach the word (as they see it). There efforts to spew hate, however, could have timely consequences as Mr. Paulson looks at an empty Treasury.

Congress amended the tax code in 1954 to state that certain nonprofit groups, including secular charities and places of worship, can lose their tax-exempt status for intervening in a campaign involving candidates.

Erik Stanley, senior legal counsel for the Alliance Defense Fund, said hundreds of churches volunteered to take part in “Pulpit Freedom Sunday.” Thirty-three were chosen, in part for “strategic criteria related to litigation” Stanley wouldn’t discuss.

Pastor Jody Hice of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Bethlehem, Ga., said in an interview Sunday that his sermon compared Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain on abortion and gay marriage and concluded that McCain “holds more to a biblical world view.”

He said he urged the Southern Baptist congregation to vote for McCain.

The taxman cometh ... let these bigots reap what they sow!

27 Septembre 2008: Paul Newman (1925-2008)

2008-09-27T10:02:00.002-04:00

Rest in peace you beautiful sweet man.

24 Septembre 2008: Stay-at-home Guv

2008-09-24T08:22:00.002-04:00

OK, I won't bring up the fact that she won't talk to the media ... I won't bring up the fact that she doesn't understand critical matters of foreign affairs ... I won't bring up the fact that she doesn't seem to grasp the financial crises that the nation (and the world) are facing right now. What I will bring up is my small bit of envy. She can manage to pocket $125k per year while spending no more than 85 days at the office over a 19 month period. That's a lesson that I need to learn!

18 Septembre 2008: These numbers don't lie ...

2008-09-18T14:32:00.004-04:00

... my good friend Joey turned me on to this article that I must have missed on Slate. I must admit that I always thought that Democrats were better for the economy. Something about having a healthy and well-educated work force seemed to be a necessity for a robust and growing economic engine. Simply skimming off of the top (as the Republicans are wont to do with their capital gains tax cuts and elimination of inheritance taxes) never seemed to work. Forget Reagan-omics and trickle-down. Didn't the recession of the early 90s demonstrate what a farce that was! I know ... I was entering the job market at that time.

Using the annual Economic Report of the President, these authors provide an interesting analysis of the association between economic and government growth and having a Democrat in the White House.

The major point is that if you find the Republican mantra of lower taxes and smaller government appealing, and if you care only about how fast the economy is growing, not how that growth is shared, you should vote Democratic. Of course, if you do care about things like economic inequality and children's health, you should vote Democratic as well.

Granted these results are only correlational, but they paint an interesting picture nonetheless.

15 Septembre 2008: A real maverick

2008-09-15T09:55:00.003-04:00

I caught this picture whilst reading an article on Jill Greenberg's outtakes from her recent John McCain photoshoot for The Atlantic. While I don't believe that one should co-opt another person's image (especially for commercial or political gain), Senator McCain does live in the public eye.

The editors of The Atlantic and the writer for that specific article have slammed Ms. Greenberg for her decision to air these pictures. Of course, that won't stop the right from beating their chests against the liberal media.

It is interesting that, following a political convention that was so heavy on the narrative, many people in the Republican Party would prefer to surgically sanitize their own personal narratives. How about you? If you could look at the timeline of your life ... all of the decisions made or unmade ... what would you choose to cull ... or would you leave it as is? Please chime in ...

11 Septembre 2008: A day of remembrance

2008-09-11T12:43:00.002-04:00

As I was riding in to the office this morning, I heard a wonderful piece about the new memorial to victims of the September 11th terrorist attack in Boston. The memorial stands in a grove of trees and is comprised of a glass structure with shards of glass to represent a shattered sky. The daughter of the pilot of the airplane remarked how the trees, in the Spring, symbolize rebirth. It was a very moving interview and news piece.

I was thinking of where I was when I heard of the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington. My youngest daughter had been born only two weeks before and my oldest daughter was starting her first year of pre-school. Thus, on the morning of September 11th, we hadn't turned on the television or the radio. We made the trip to pre-school as a family and enjoyed the one-hour orientation class. As we left the orientation, we heard several families talking about some horrific event involving planes and collapsing buildings. We assumed they must be talking about the latest Hollywood blockbuster. Unfortunately, we quickly realized that this was a real event. Our plans for brunch and a trip to the bookstore were quickly canceled. We headed back home as a family. Our young daughters didn't realize that suddently the world had changed.

Now, seven years past this event, I look at how my life has changed. In some respects, I have experienced a rebirth similar to those trees in Boston. In 2001, I was on the cusp of a serious bout of depression ... my winter. This would last almost two years, culminating in my final acceptance of my sexuality. The winter of 2003 was perhaps the lowest point in my life. My family (wife and daughters) had been my stability and my refuge ... with a single disclosure, all of that was shattered. I have spent the last five years climbing back from that low point. I feel that, while not to my zenith, I am cresting a major hill. The view is spectacular!

25 juliett 2008: He makes me smile

2008-07-25T14:11:00.002-04:00

What can I say, he never fails to bring a smile to my face ... except when he brings a grimace!

22 juliett 2008: It's back to Shady Pines

2008-07-22T15:20:00.002-04:00

Imagine my shock to see this news story detailing the death of Estelle Getty, the feisty Sophia Petrillo from The Golden Girls. I hadn't realized how hard she had struggled to keep her craft. I guess, in comparison, my troubles aren't that much.

I remember watching The Golden Girls with my grandmother. She was always amazed that women her own age could lead such fulfilling lives ... with jobs, adventures, and men! It made her realize that getting old didn't have to be put out to pasture. To me, the four ladies became surrogate grandmothers. When mine finally left this world, a single episode of the four dames can feel like home to me.

What are your Golden Girl memories?

24 Juin 2008: An obvious follow-up

2008-06-24T09:31:00.003-04:00

As someone that has studied public health problems extensively for at least the past six years, I have become increasingly alarmed at the obesity epidemic in this country. There are many reasons for this concern: the threat to our healthcare system, the conspicuous consumption of limited resources to feed a burgeoning waistline, and the moral decay associated with such gluttony. Until now, I could never see an upside to the whole obesity surge ... until now.

Here is a snippet from a cleverly written little article at the Nation.com. This author's ingenious idea to use hydrocarbons extracted through liposuction to achieve energy self-sufficiency rings true to me.

The average liposuction removes about half a gallon of liquid fat, which may not seem like much. But think of the vast reserves our nation is literally sitting on! Thirty percent of Americans are obese, or about 90 million individuals or 45 million gallons of easily available fat--not from dead diatoms but from our very own bellies and butts.

Granted this wouldn't solve everything ... but think how pretty our cities and towns would look post-energy extraction!

19 Juin 2008: Was this the primary objective?

2008-06-19T09:12:00.003-04:00

Today is probably one of the worst days of my life ... I've been advised not to reflect on it too much here. Suffice it to say that things are not going well. When I saw this picture, it captured how I was feeling on the inside ...

However, when I read the accompanying story, my blood began to boil over anew. It appears that the big 4 oil companies that were ousted from Iraq when oil production was nationalized are back in bed together. This time, they've won over many other companies with a no-bid scheme to service the fields. Highly unusual. It makes me think, perhaps this was the primary objective after all. I guess we'll be seeing W with a big "Mission Accomplished" banner again.

17 Juin 2008: Tomorrow Never Knows

2008-06-16T15:06:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow the grant application that I submitted in February is reviewed by the NIH. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that the powers-that-be are in a good mood and decide to send a little funding-love my way.

On a more fun note, I spent a wonderful Fathers' Day yesterday. The weather here in Maryland has finally returned to a more seasonable temperature. This, after the East Coast was gripped in a heat wave, is a welcome thing.

The morning was spent with my two little angels. They started the day wishing me "Happy Fathers' Day" and giving me lots of hugs and kisses. We then had breakfast and a quiet start in to the day. Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to them at 10:30 AM ... it was their mother's birthday (and technically her day to be with them). Regardless of the length of time, I was glad to have the morning with them.

Afterwards, I spent the rest of the afternoon with John in Annapolis. It had been years since I had been to the state capitol gently tucked in next to the water. We took a stroll around downtown to peruse the wares that different merchants were offering. On our walk, we stopped in at the Carroll House, the Paca Gardens, and the Hammond-Harwood House. Each a lovely example of colonial wealth and privilege. How I would love to live like that. It was all good until the docent would mention the slaves' quarters. Then a chill would run down my spine. I am surprised that none of these docents has come up with a more bland term for the slaves. Perhaps, "those permanent houseguests" or "those who gave of themselves, entirely" or "eternal friends of the family"? Who knows ... it was just a passing (and totally un-PC) thought.

Regardless, it was a wonderful day, so I thought that I would share it with the few remaining readers that this blog supports.

3 Juin 2008: High School Musical 3

2008-06-03T09:05:00.002-04:00

I just finished reading a post by Darin about his upcoming high school reunion about the pressure that one felt going back home, especially when one is gay. The post got me to thinking about my own upcoming high school reunion. That night of both dread and pleasure. Guessing who each person is ... Figuring out who's had plastic surgery ... Estimating how many pounds each has put on ... it's exhilarating!

However, it can also be pretty scary. I attended a mostly blue-collar high school in a mostly blue collar part of town. Most of our parents worked in manufacturing or (due to the economic downturn) mid-level service jobs. We were a pretty monolithic high school ... economically ... racially ... philosophically. I've met a few fellow Patriots since coming out that similarly share my persuasion, but they have been a bit younger. Perhaps that reflects the fact that I came out later in life and the myriad gay men and women in my graduating class had already left the club scene and the internet mecca. Perhaps.

I am a bit nervous about attending my reunion. The last that I attended, my 5 year, was a spectacle. It was well attended, but everyone was drunk within the first hour. I was married and attended it with my wife and another married couple. I can say that it was fun, especially when my high school secret crush came up and gave me his phone number. Of course, I never called him ... I couldn't see the light from that far back in the closet. Maybe he'll be there this time ... though now I think he is married himself.

I'm not nervous about being gay and attending my reunion. I am fairly secure in my sexuality at this point. However, attending it with a boyfriend is a double-edged sword. The first, obvious, is that I am concerned about ribbing from former classmates or (less likely) any physical altercations. The second, less obvious, is that I have spent a considerable amount of energy to break the ties of my working class background. It is a conceit, I know. I've tried to hide my accent (don't ask Chad about that, he thinks that it is fairly pronounced), I've shrouded myself in higher education, and I've adopted a completely different philosophy on life. It will seem a bit threatening to let someone see my rather inauspicious beginnings.

I'll survive and it'll probably be a lot of fun. I just hope that I don't have to digitally enhance my blue eyes ... that is too much trouble!

19 Mars 2008: Proud Baltimorean

2008-03-19T09:36:00.003-04:00

Sometimes, I am so proud of the City that I call home. Granted, as an aging East Coast industrial town coming to grips with a new economy those times don't come too often. However, this week the Baltimore City Council became the fourth local jurisdiction to pressure the State Assembly to pass a bill to allow same sex marriage. This was done with legislation presented by City Councilman Bill Henry that was supported by City Council President Stephanie Rawlings-Blake.

Kudos to you Baltimore! I love you!

3 Mars 2008: Playing with PhotoBooth

2008-03-03T13:21:00.003-05:00

I really enjoy my iMac, it brings me such pleasure. Not only is it a workhorse for the office, but it's collection of fun applications can bring a smile to my face on an otherwise mundane day. Here are a few snaps I just took, I thought that I would share them.

20 Février 2008: Water, water, everywhere

2008-02-20T08:40:00.005-05:00

As we hear of the increasingly turbulent (ha-ha) water wars that seem to be escalating in this country's southeast and southwest, it is interesting to take a look at how people in other cultures relate to water. Especially clean water. In sub-saharan Africa, as well as many other developing nations, clean water is a commodity that must be carted from source to home. This often involves a trek of considerable distance. Who is doing all of this lifting and carrying? If it were my village, I'd nominate him ...

However, it's not my village. So the likely carrier is a young girl. And these little girls must wake early in the morning to begin their trip to the water source. Then carry huge jugs of water, often on their heads, back to their village and home. This incredible expenditure of time and energy leaves little for educational or other economic endeavors. This leads to whole generations of girls that marry early and have multiple children, all to begin the vicious cycle again.

As you all know, I have been scoping out Inhabitat, a green blog, for the past week or so. I noticed a very interesting article that I've posted below.

H is for Humanity, Habitats, Health, Habitats, and HIPPO! Project H, an organization that promotes, inspires, and humanitarian product design, is funding 50 Hippo Rollers for a series of 17 villages in Kgautswane in Northeastern South Africa. Hippo Rollers, if you haven’t seen them before, they are amazing barrel devices that allow the millions whose livelihoods depend on the daily fetching of water to more safely and efficiently access and transport water. The roller holds 3-4 days worth of water for a family of 7, about 5 times the amount of water that can be moved using traditional methods, which frees up time for more productive economic and educational activities. It’s an amazing product and an amazing story of good design enabling communities.
For $100 you can sponsor the manufacturing and delivery of one roller in your name, which will be personally delivered to a family in Kgautswane this April by Project H Design. If you believe in the power of good design, here’s your chance to show it! Check out the Hippometer to see how many rollers have been funded to date.

I think that it is pretty damned neat!

17 Février 2008: How did this happen?

2008-02-17T18:27:00.002-05:00

Just when you all thought that I was taking to higher ground ... discussing alternative energy and earth-friendly practices, supporting reforms toward tolerance and inclusion in the educational system, and promoting political and religious advances in equality for my gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, and queer brethren (and sisthren?) ... I have to digress back to my shallow self.

I was at the gym this afternoon, trying to reverse a slide toward middle age that began when I moved from my posh life in the Baltimore suburbs and my $180/month gym membership. I have gone from 172 pounds to a whopping 190 pounds (unless, as I suspect, the scale lied to me today). What have I done? Aside from moving less and eating/drinking a lot more, I can't fathom this sudden (over 18 months) gain of nearly 20 pounds! Ugh!! What is a boy to do ... swimsuit season is coming up and I have a squarecut to fit my fat ass into!

I am hopping that Bob and Gillian are able to help me out on this one! Seriously, I know what I must do, but it would be great to hear how my compatriots are dealing with their post-holiday weight gain.

11 Février 2008: Get over it

2008-02-11T13:40:00.001-05:00

I saw an article describing an education campaign in the UK posted on Towleroad. It seems that Stonewall UK is targeting ads throughout the country to counter homophobic bullying.

According to their web-site, only 1 in 4 schools in the UK report homophobic bullying as a problem. This claim was countered in a recent survey conducted by Stonewall UK. This survey of 1,145 young people demonstrated that 65% of young GLBT people experienced bullying [though only 58% of those reported it]. One would wonder why more bullying isn't reported. However, the survey also demonstrated that 62% of the time there were no actions taken by teachers and administration to confront the bullying.

As this is a personal blog, I have an anecdote to share. Recently, a group of children at a local private school decided to exclude another child from their recess activities because that child has gay parents. Sounds like homophobic bullying, right? Well, in this case, when the school administration heard about it, they acted quickly. The group of children was brought in for discussion and calls were made to the involved parents. This was a strong statement in support of the school's expressed desire to be tolerant of all. Kudos to them!

On an aside, where can I get this bumper-sticker!

3 Février 2008: Losing our lead

2008-02-05T10:51:00.000-05:00

In generations past, most of the technological innovation that occurred in the world happened right here in the good ole U.S. of A. For the past several years (perhaps decades), we have been losing our economic edge in manufacturing (hello China), in education (hello Japan and India), and, more recently, in product safety (hello EU). Now it seems that we are willing to lose our edge in the latest revolution, the Environmental Revolution.

The NY Times had a very interesting article on a proposed solar city to be built in the oil-producing Abu Dhabi. From the article, Masdar City will be "a 2.3-square-mile complex that by 2016 should, if plans hold, house nearly 50,000 people working on next-generation energy technologies. No cars. Solar cells for electricity and solar-thermal arrays for the energy needed for air conditioning. Local agriculture. Waste fully recycled." The goal of the nation is to prepare for their post-oil future. Under the Kyoto treaty, countries can receive emission credits for investing in renewable energy research and development in the developing world. So it's a win-win for the UAE.

The question posed by the journalist was "Why not Arizona?" That's what I would like to know. Why can't the powers that be see that a change needs to be made in our relationship with energy. Are we going to cede the intellectual lead on this as we have done in so many other arenas?

For sure, things are being done in this country. And, perhaps with the changing administration, we will see real leadership on the issue. Who know! I sure hope we wake up soon.

For a run-down on what is happening, check out the web-site Inhabitat.

30 Janvier 2008: Green building coming to a campus near you

2008-01-30T08:57:00.000-05:00

I found this article while leafing through the on-line edition of my local newspaper, The Baltimore Sun. It reminded me of a conversation that I've been having with my friends. We all realize that energy over-dependence and mis-use leading to environmental devastation is an issue that must be addressed. We disagree, however, on whether we as a people have the fortitude to make the necessary changes now ... versus making them when we are experiencing even more environmental catastrophes.

It seems that perhaps there is some momentum for making the necessary changes. Maryland's attractive Gov. Martin O'Malley has proposed legislation that would require using energy-efficient and resource-efficient building design and materials in all newly constructed or renovated state buildings or state-financed public buildings. Pictured here is Charles Jackson, vice-president of facilities of St. Mary's College. It is a wonderful first step in a state that has a tremendous amount of wealth, both financial and intellectual. Putting the two together will surely go a long way in solving our environmental problems.

Urge your local elected officials to follow suit.

Signing off with love, you favorite (green around the gills) Balti-whore!

23 Janvier 2008: You are what you watch

2008-01-23T10:58:00.000-05:00

I think that I might be in danger of becoming a birkenstock-wearing, hemp-loving greenie radical ... or maybe I just don't want to have to wear a biohazard suit when I have to take the trash out in 50 years.

I am still seething over the fact that Constellation Energy produces only 1.8% of it's electrical supply from renewable resources. I've called the customer service lines at my local utility and my council representative. They took my information and registered my complaint. I wonder what will come of it? Probably not much ... the first couple of times. I am anything if not persistent!

This kid is adorable. I love his furrowed brow. He's a bit of a mini-thug, but he has plenty of reason to be pissed. I know that I would be.

And finally, these piece from Greenpeace (again with the birkenstocks!).

20 Janvier 2008: An inconvenient lapse

2008-01-20T22:36:00.000-05:00

OK, I really am behind the times. I just bought a new pair of acid-wash jeans. I think that they are going to be really big. And there is this new thing that I do with my hair, I call it "feathering" because it actually looks as if you have tufts of feathers on the side of your head. It is awesome ... hey, that's going to be my new catch phrase ... "That is so AWESOME!"

Seriously, though, I have gotten with the times and finally watched Al Gore's little movie "An inconvenient truth." As life would have it, I watched this little sketch on global warming on a day when the high temperature in Baltimore was in the mid-twenties. That, of course, is not the point of this little post. The point is that I was blown away by the overwhelming amount of evidence that supports global warming. Here I thought that it was just a theory.

OK, again, I am kidding. What I did realize, though, is that there are plenty of things that we can do to have an impact (or to not have an impact) on the environment. I'm not talking about buying a hybrid. What I am talking about are some things that will actually save us some money and then some other things that take a little bit of time/effort/money on our parts.

type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350">

The first is to do a thorough assessment on your energy use. This includes looking at the way that you heat/cool/light your house, the types of foods that you put in your mouth, and the modes of transport that you use to move your meat-eating ass around town. There is a great site put together by Climate Crisis that will help you navigate your way to a greener way of life.

I checked out my local utility ... BGE ... and was surprised to learn that only 1.8% of their electricity supply came from renewable sources. For that, the corporate greed-mongers at Constellation Energy were charging me 10.86 cents per kilowatt hour. This is where it is going to get costly on my part, however. I did some checking at Climate Crisis. It seems that Commerce Energy is licensed to provide electricity in Maryland (also in Texas and Pennsylvania). For the fee of 13.40 cents per kilowatt hour, I can get 50% renewable energy and for 13.70 cents per kilowatt hour, I can get 100% renewable energy. All from wind! I realize that this will result in an increase of up to 26% on my utility bills. But I think that it is worth it.

I also found this nifty little site to help me to take political action aimed at pushing the U.S. toward a more sensible stance on global warming and other environmental issues. I've already contacted my legislators using the handy little e-mail form letter. This week, I am going to directly contact the offices of my senators and congress-person to discuss their stance on renewable energy, energy security, and global warming.

It may be damned cold in Baltimore tonight, but I am fired up about my newest cause ... parachute pants.

Signing off with loads of love (a renewable resource) is your favorite (OP wearing) Balti-whore!

18 Janvier 2008: Snowy Day and the aftermath

2008-01-18T11:26:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we received the first of what promises to be a one-two punch combination for the Baltimore area. To say that we don't do well with the white stuff is an understatement. Yesterday we received only an inch or two of snow, but traffic was hopelessly snarled. I had to drive from downtown B'more to my daughters' school. What would normally be a twenty minute drive (with normal traffic) turned into a 90 minute saga. I snapped some pictures with my handy-dandy iPhone along the way.

This morning things weren't nearly as bad. Schools were delayed an hour, not that we slept in. It gave us some extra time to talk - which is always a great thing. The drive to school was uneventful. However, once I rejoined the yahoos going to work, I realized how bad Baltimore drivers are in any kind of winter weather. Even when it is safely pushed off of the roadway. It took about 40 minutes to make the 20 minute trip to my office this morning.

Signing off with much love is your favorite (snow-angel) Balti-whore!

15 Janvier 2008: Recovering from the plagues

2008-01-15T14:26:00.000-05:00

These last few weeks have been hellish for me.

First, I thought I had an STD. It turned out to be a urinary tract infection and a slight case of eczema. Off to get some antibiotics for the UTI and some expensive lotion for the eczema. The UTI cleared, but the eczema got worse. Back to the doctors. I was told that it was fine - just continue the lotion and avoid hot showers and baths. Yuck! That was before the holidays.

After the holidays, I developed an abscess on my derriere (scratch-scratching my eczema). It was Staph ... on more antibiotics. It got so painful that I had to leave work - it hurt to sit! Finally, last Monday my regular doctor called me. It turned out that I had scabies. A quick trip back to the pharmacy and I am on the mend. Man ... I am glad that my doctor reads all of the treatment notes dictated in his absence. I could still be sitting here scratching away my outer layers of skin!

Here are some recent headlines from the news that I found interesting ...

Hopkins Hospital drops latex gloves As we know, there is no love without the glove. Apparently, there is now no love for the glove at Hopkins. Citing growing rates of allergic reactions to latex, the top hospital has decided to phase out all gloves made with the troubling substance. How about sheep-skin gloves for that natural feel!

F.D.A. Says Food From Cloned Animals Is Safe
Did you really like that hamburger that you ate last night? You can now get its exact genetic twin for lunch today! Seriously, though, didn't the FDA say that Viox was safe? How many people died from that little slip-up? As many as 27,000 heart attacks and cardiac deaths! I just hope that the cloned products will be labelled. Somehow, I don't think that they will. I better study my French and convert my 401k to Euros.

Netflix offers unlimited movie streaming
Hoping to fend off competition from movie rentals offered via iTunes, that little red envelope is extending its streaming video service. Previously, you were limited to the amount of time that you could stream based on your subscription cost. Not that I ever came up against the limit, but it's nice to have the fences torn down. I just wish that they would support Mac. I am tired of having to use sim-software to stream my Netflix movies.

Drug-Resistant Staph Found Prevalent Among Gay Men
After my health confessions of late, I guess I am part of the in-crowd ... though technically my Staph wasn't drug-resistant (it responded to a cocktail of broad spectrum antibiotics. For my readers in SanFran, NYC, Boston, or La-La land .. wash your hands after going potty. The life you save may be your own. I jest, but it's pretty serious, folks.

That's all for now ... from your favorite (finally itch free) Balti-whore.

04 Janvier 2007: Talk about your Club Kids

2008-01-04T18:55:00.000-05:00

I used to watch Dora with my girls. I really enjoyed the show. Yes, it was predictable - but developing children need to see the world as a predictable place guided by cause and effect. In any event, a friend turned me on to this little clip on YouTube. One more reason why I shouldn't head over to YouTube ... I spent about 30 minutes surfing through various Children's Show remixes. I think I'll start a Disco Daycare!

19 December 2007: Singin' in the Rain

2007-12-19T10:52:00.001-05:00

I believe that I have admitted this before, but just to set the record straight ... I have a major crush on Peter Sarsgaard. So much so, that I am even learning to spell his Scandinavian last name. And that is something!

As noted by the premiere source for information online, Wikipedia, Mr. Sarsgaard has risen to prominence through his portrayal of dark and villainous characters. That suits me just fine. While I couldn't get behind his role as the homophobic John Lotter in Boys Don't Cry, I found him delicious in Jarhead and K-19. This most recent snap is from an upcoming movie, the Isabel Coixet-helmed Elegy.

I don't know what draws me to Peter. I wouldn't say that he is classically handsome. As we have all seen from his turn in Kinsey, he is a bit hairy ... not my usual preference. Perhaps it is his soft voice and warm eyes that seem to envelop me whenever I see him take to the screen. Even when maniacal, there is just something about that voice. In any event, I've said my piece.

18 December 2007: Home(less) for the holidays

2007-12-18T09:26:00.000-05:00

As I sit here in my chilly office, having come from my warm (though slightly decrepit) apartment, I can't help but feel lucky. Especially after reading a headline stating that nearly 30% of the young homeless in New York City are LGBT. That proportion of LGBT youth among the homeless is almost three times the proportion of LGBT folk among all New Yorkers. Some of these ABCs (that's angels, babies, and children for all y'all) are afraid to go to the shelters and are turning tricks in the hope of finding a warm place to sleep. And it's not just in New York ... how about Colorado Springs or your town?

Of course, we can guess what is turning these young'uns out onto the streets. A lack of support from family and friends after discovering their sexual orientation could be a major culprit. How about an unhealthy dose of low self esteem that often grips us when we struggle with our different-ness? Can you imagine starting life as a young 18 year old without any support from family or friends? I sure as hell couldn't ... perhaps that's why I sacrificed a part of myself and stayed in the closet. How about you?

Rather than dwelling on my past, the important thing is to think about what can be done to help the next generation. For one, we could all go out tonight and pick up one of those cute hustlers. Offer him (or her) a hot meal, a nice shower, and a warm bed. Seriously, though, turning tricks doesn't solve the problem (trust me on that one ;-). What we can do is lobby our city, state, and federal representatives to encourage specialty shelters for LGBT youth, we can support PFLAG in trying to remove the stigma of having a 'mo in the family, and we can support advocacy groups like ChrisKids that help these little darlin's.

Or you could even buy a bottle of Tylenol PM. Whatever it takes!

Signing off for now is your grateful Balti-whore.

14 December 2007: Friday Round-Up

2007-12-14T11:43:00.000-05:00

So, I was having this conversation the other day with Jerry, George, and Elaine ... you know, my alter egos ... These are some dramatic times in which we live (and blog) aren't they. Here I find it hard enough just to find the time to post once or twice a week - or month. Seriously, though, I don't even want to wade in to that mess ... reading about it is titillating, but I don't want to invite any harsh comments on my friendly little corner of the blog-o-sphere. I don't think that my blogbuds would like that.

This has been quite a busy one for me. It started on Saturday ... as all weeks do for me. I have been seeing this very nice man since August. A few weeks ago, I met his former boyfriend and this past weekend we had dinner with him and his partner. The restaurant is a former speak-easy from the 1920's named Martick's. We walked down a very sketchy city block, past a dark and foreboding parking structure, to a decrepit little building with peeling paint on the facade. After banging on the front door, the mail slot opened and the person inside asked us why we were there. Satisfied that we had reservations, we were ushered in to the dining room. It looked like the decor hadn't changed in decades. Our waitress Rose was a typically sweet Baltimore girl (ok, lady) and was ever so happy that we were there. The food was delicious ... I sampled the city-famous sweet potato soup and the salmon florentine ... the drinks were strong ... and the ambiance was festive. It was a wonderful night at an old Baltimore landmark ... the owner and namesake is in his eighties, so who knows how much longer the restaurant will be around. I encourage every Baltimoron (or visiting dunce) to check it out ... reservations are required.

Sunday was spent touring the sights around Manhattan. It was the annual trip to see Santa at Macy's Department Store. The girls were very excited to be making the trip, though I started out a bit bleary eyed from my previous night's excitement. After parking near the base of Empire State, we headed off to the tip-top of Macy's to see Santaland. The elves were as helpful as ever and the sights and sounds were such to behold. With the crush of humanity, I was surprised that the lines moved so quickly. Speaking of crowds, we then headed to Times Square. We were with another family that had never been to NYC ... their boys wanted to see the Ferris Wheel at Toys 'R Us. It was fun for the girls, too ... those things never lose their appeal. Following lunch, we took a turn through Central Park avec carriage. The weather was nippy enough to make it fun to cuddle under the blanket. Then on to our real target ... American Girl Place! This year the dolls on the list are Julie and Nikki, so we had to ooh and aah in all the right places as we looked through their displays. The girls picked up a few things to augment what they are sure to get from Santa and family.

As if that wasn't enough, I have spent the rest of this week writing a grant ... I can't believe that I am looking at the computer screen for leisure! At least the grant is off my desk for the next few days!

Merry Ho-Ho to all of my little friends, from your favorite Balti-whore!

06 December 2007: Why aren't they just kids anymore?

2007-12-06T09:06:00.000-05:00

My normally callous exterior has been sloughed off by this most recent string of adolescent savagery. I am sure that many others have witnessed this. I cannot fathom the cause for such behavior.

Two Baltimore teenagers [fatally stabbed] a girl at a light rail station ... as she and her brother were returning home from their jobs.

When [she] finally found a seat [on the bus], the teens ... punched and kicked [her], broke down the rear door of the bus and dragged her into the street ... she suffered two broken bones in her left eye socket, two deep cuts on ... her head and other cuts on her neck and back.

When I was a child and a teenager, I knew to give adults a certain level of deference. It wasn't because they were conventionally beautiful, but because their age provided a certain status in society. Perhaps these recent actions (all occurring in about a week's time) are indicative of a more pervasive breakdown in the fabric that holds our society together. Could it be that these children, not having positive adult role models in their lives, have been forced to adopt this protective brutality over scarce resources? I don't know the answer to this question - I am simply shocked by the savagery. In this age of wondering who the next top model, top designer, top chef, or top apprentice will be we need to turn back the clock. The real question is who in the hell is raising this next generation!

5 December 2007: It's snowing, and I'm cold

2007-12-05T10:05:00.000-05:00

As I sit here in my office, I can't help but stare out the window. The snow that was predicted to start mid-day has begun to fall. The flakes are blanketing the cars and the grass that I can see. I hope that driving isn't too treacherous this afternoon as I make my way home. I have a date tonight and I would hate to have it canceled due to the weather (not that any other reason would be ok!).

I am finally recovering from the whirlwind weekend that I had in San Francisco. I was in town to attend a scientific conference from Wednesday through Sunday. I had the pleasure of staying at quite a swank hotel, the Palace, in the Financial District. From there, it was a short walk up to Citizen Thai in North Beach, great shopping at Union Square, funky browsing in Chinatown, and a walk around the parking lot South of Market. These meetings are always a lot of fun and are always held in very nice places ... Miami, Boston, Scottsdale, Palm Beach ... and now San Francisco.

Not only did I learn quite a bit and make some new connections, but I was wined and dined like it was going out of style. One evening, a group of us went to the Wolfgang Puck restaurant (is he going to start wearing an orange wig and large shoes?) Postrio. It was quite nice .. white tablecloths and all .. however, I was amazed at how the restaurant snaked back from the street level as it passed what must have been the cavernous hotel lobby above. I enjoyed two very nice wines (the vintages escape me at the moment) and had a delicious glazed squab for my entree. The only scary part was trying to eat it in a dignified manner. It was hard to get the meat off of those little bones! Following dinner, I decided to embalm myself with a few glasses of grappa. Needless to say, I was thankfully surprised when I woke in my hotel room the next morning.

The main dinner for the conference saw us treated to a wonderful Tony Bennett tribute act. Mr. Freddie Pierce. What a pleasure it was to hear his voice .. unfortunately, though, the acoustics in the hotel ballroom weren't amenable to the act. Following dinner, a group of us had drinks with Mr. Pierce and his accompanist. We talked about a shared passion of ours, Reno 911. It was a blast. All under the beautiful (and, at $2.5 million, pricey) Pied Piper.

However, the highlight of my weekend was being able to reconnect with some old friends in the city. Had my planning been what it should have been, I would have had more time - but I am not going to complain (too loudly).

I was able to spend a delightful, if all too short, evening with Chad Fox at Ginger's Trois. The bar was a delightful little place tucked away in the Financial District. There was a roaring fire, a friendly crowd, and generous drinks. That and staring into Mr. Fox's eyes made for quite a remarkable time.

My next adventure was a bit more long-lived. I was able to stand-in as a "plus one" at a birthday party with Dan. We met for a quick turn around the parking lot during which I mistakenly thought Dan asked me if I had to poop (he was speaking to Louie). Afterwards, it was a quick ride over to Polk Gulch for the party, being held at Space Gallery. The drinks were strong (cucumber cosmos, delish), the cake was extraordinary, and the boys were cute ... especially the birthday boy that we knew! After spending a bit of time there, we headed over to Badlands in the Castro. It wasn't too crowded when we arrived, though more people did seem to pour through the door as the night went on. The dance floor was packed, though. After a few drinks, Dan and I made our way out. The evening wound down as we met a couple of medical students from NYU ... a pretty little lesbian and her straight-but-not-narrow boy-friend (hyphenated to avoid any romantic entanglement). A short dance with him and we were off to bed ... not he and I, but I ... back to my hotel - my flight was the next morning.

All in all, a wonderful time was had. I learned a lot ... ate a lot ... drank a lot ... walked a lot ...

Signing off until next time, is your sated Balti-whore (I'm classy enough without the name change!)

1 December 2007: The bitch is back

2007-12-01T19:51:00.001-05:00

As we are knee-deep in the holiday season, there are a few things that I realize. The weather is getting more cold; heating oil is getting more pricey; and the majority is getting more wise. People are starting realize that we are not the Intolerant States of America. Many former military leaders are beginning to stand up and be heard on their opposition to "Don't Ask Don't Tell." More states are having their bigotry laws challenged or are preparing to extend legal protections to gays and lesbians. And those three gay Republicans are finally starting to wake up.

Could it be better, yes it could. And that is what we all have to endeavor to achieve in the next year.

Welcome back to my good friend Jeff. Signing off from the Palace Hotel in beautiful downtown San Francisco, is your favorite Balti-escort ... I'm class all the way!

19 October 2007: What a difference a day makes

2007-10-19T15:49:00.000-04:00

I may have used that title before, but it still applies - sort of.

I met with my attorney today. She is very savvy and comes highly recommended from a friend (who is also a family law attorney). We met to discuss drafting and filing my divorce ... since my previous efforts at amicable resolution were unsuccessful. Of course, I have to pay a hefty retainer and an hourly rate that makes my head swim. It may be costly, but afterward I can rebuild my financial life.

One thing that really floored me was reviewing my financial ledger. I am one of those who likes to stay in the dark regarding my burgeoning debt and my dwindling savings. This blissful ignorance, however, has been wiped away as I prepare to file. As part of my homework, I have been asked to review all of my accounts and expenses and complete a standard form from the Maryland courts system. What an eye opener. I can't believe that I spend that much annually on dining out - here I thought that I was rather frugal.

Of course, I can't complain too loudly. As I was talking to my attorney (it feels so weird to have one), she was reassuring me that Maryland case law no longer treats homosexuality as a strike against a parent seeking either full or joint custody of minor children. Thank God for that, right? I thought that I would dig around a bit on the internet and see what I could find about this.

In my hunt, I found a very interesting article from 1979. This paper reported on the findings of a survey of child psychiatrists in the Bay area (granted a skewed population with regards to their attitudes toward homosexuality). In this study, 82% of respondents felt that the best parent should have custody regardless of sexuality. That is quite amazing for a 28 year old study!

However, from "Gay Rights and American Law" author Dan Pinello, we find that there is incredible latitude in the decisions that judges can make regarding custody issues. A biased judge could decide to use a parent's sexuality as a determining factor in awarding custody. An interesting finding was on the association between age and gender and attitudes toward sexuality.

"Judges 60 years of age or older had a 20% higher probability of voting against lesbian or gay parents when compared to judges under 50 years of age. Women judges were 27% more sympathetic to gay parental rights than male judges."

Bottom line for me, then, is to hope for a judge (or master as I think they are called in Maryland Family Law) that is young and female. Wish me luck!

Here's hoping that everyone has a wonderful weekend. I will be preparing for a trip to Austin TX next week - give me a shout out if your from that area.

Signing off for now is your (cautiously optimistic) Balti-whore!

17 October 2007: Darkest before the dawn

2007-10-17T15:45:00.001-04:00

Almost 14 months ago, I started my run as a fey Aldus Huxley. At the time, I had been out for the past 18 months and still married. The plan was to relocate to a more tolerate part of the state and occupy two units of a multi-unit house. However, after much convincing on her part and much succumbing to guilt on my own, we purchased a single family house and decided to stick it out. Alas, things were not to work out.

The idea of a closed marriage was too stifling for both of us and the idea of an open marriage was to disrespectful. We struggled, but decided that it was best if I move out. We packed up my stuff and I moved into a close-by apartment.

To my long-term readers, that is all known. Now for the new stuff ...

In these past 14 months, I have achieved a lot in my little life. I am still in my little apartment, but I am now out of school (yeah me), I have made some very good friends, and I have re-established relationships with my extended family. Unfortunately, I have also incurred a considerable amount of debt trying to provide complete support to two households. I generously had decided to give her some time to get on her feet before we hashed out the financial issues surrounding our divorce. It was a temporary measure (and not meant to subsidize $180 haircuts on her part).

After several failed attempts at brokering an amicable settlement - I can't even get face-time to talk about the issues - we are headed to court. I thought that my opening salvo was pretty darned generous. In addition to child support payments, I was willing to pay the mortgage and upkeep on her house and a majority of the utilities for five years. Hell, I was even willing to keep footing the bill for her insurance (health, dental, life, and automobile). Surprisingly, that offer wasn't sufficient ... neither in amount nor time.

You may all realize that I work at a university ... not an investment bank ... so this five year offer would continue to instill considerable financial hardship on me (who needs A/C in Baltimore's sweltering summer, not me). Fortunately, with her deciding that it wasn't enough, I will have the help of an attorney and the courts to craft a more agreeable (to me) settlement.

Why am I airing such a personal matter over the ether? My reasoning is simple. For far too long, I have kept hidden any thought or emotion that wasn't deemed socially acceptable. This has led to some very poor judgement on my part with disastrous results. After stepping out of my self-imposed closet, I have vowed never again to let these secrets shackle me.

I also realize that I am not alone in my struggles. Perhaps this can serve to bolster men going through a similar situation. I'd love to hear from you - we could create a sort of a virtual support group. Who knows, perhaps I have something to offer. It can't be much worse than this ...

Signing off for now, your favorite (goin' to Court) Balti-whore.

11 October 2007: A proud tradition

2007-10-11T08:33:00.000-04:00

A few months back we were confronted with General Peter Pace's comment that homosexual acts were immoral. Of course, this statement was rebuffed by Secretary Gates, stating that such personal opinions had no place in the military - especially for the top brass. Republican politicians thrilled to his comments, however, reiterating their stand against gays in the military.

Fast forward a few weeks after that, I am getting out of my car after a long day at work. Before I turn off the radio, I hear an interesting fact on my local NPR affiliate. It seems that the military is redefining its moral code. Previously (as in before the war), individuals with criminal records were automatically barred from service. This makes sense, why give someone convicted of drug possession or larceny access to weapons and then send them overseas to be our ambassadors. However, this dimwit army general told the listening audience that the army, while still proud of its soldiers, was relaxing this rule to increase the number of eligible recruits. Of course, gays still weren't allowed to serve openly - because that is just morally reprehensible.

Now, I read a news story telling that the army has yet again increased the number of special dispensations allowed for those with criminal records to serve.

In the fiscal year ended Sept. 30, 18 percent of recruits needed waivers for problems with the law - up from 15 percent the previous year, Maj. Gen. Thomas Bostick, commander of the U.S. Army Recruiting Command, told a Pentagon news conference. He said 87 percent of those were for misdemeanors such as joy riding or violating curfew.

What about the other 13% (or nearly 2000 soldiers recruited to the army in the last fiscal year)? I wonder if my convictions for armed robbery will stand in my way of getting my hands on some awesome firepower, I mean, serving my country? Oh, what I'm gay!

01 October 2006: Irreverence

2007-10-01T11:33:00.000-04:00

The clever shorts on SNL never cease to amaze me. Their latest edition is, thanks to the proliferation of broadband internet access and compact video broadcasting technologies, a digital short featuring a riff on President Ahmadinejad's visit to the United Nations in New York City. Here is the clip, featured on YouTube.

Much of the protest against Iran and their errant president (at least in our community) has focused on the reported executions of those suspected of homosexual behavior in that country. I write "behavior" because, as we all now know, there are no homosexuals in Iran. The behavior must solely be due to the corrupting influence of the Great Satan. The mainstream news media outlets have run with this as a major story, so it shows you how far we have come in gaining respectability in this country. Of course, it could just be that they are looking for any reason to tar-and-feather the Iranian president.

To counter Mr. Ahmadinejad's statement, or to simply show some hot men, I have searched the internet archives for a few morsels of Persian men ...

... they really are quite beautiful, aren't they? A few months ago, I had met a Persian man in a bar here in town. He was a bit stocky, but otherwise had those soulful eyes that draw you in. The tale that he told me regarding the persecution of gay men and women was shocking to my Western sensibilities. He was here on a student visa, so was very resistant to be seen as an "out gay man." We talked over craft beer at a local brewery for several hours. While I really did enjoy his company ... we never did meet again. I think his fear of being identified as being gay and it somehow getting back to Tehran was too great for him to act on his feelings.

27 September 2007: Sign this Mr. President

2007-09-27T12:25:00.000-04:00

Today the Matthew Shepard Hate Crime bill passed the U.S. Senate. A similar measure previously passed in the U.S. House of Representatives. The Senate measure was tacked on as an amendment to a defense spending bill by that ever-clever senator from Massachusetts. Let's all hope that the president doesn't decide to finally take his veto pen out of its scabbard. After all, he hasn't seen a bill that he's ready to veto in six years!

The ACLU supports the bill and states that it provides the ability to "fight hate crimes while at the same time protecting free speech."

HRC supports the bill. Joe Solomonese states that the legislation demonstrates that the country will no longer turn a blind eye to anti-gay violence in America.

Of course, the Republicans were not to be outdone. Senator Hatch contends that the term "gender identity" is too ambiguous to be legislated and a litany of other senators complain that the bill shouldn't have been attached to a defense spending bill. Buck up, buddies ... that's the way the game is played.

Now the legislation goes to committee to iron out differences between the Senate and House version.

Let me your thoughts on the likelihood of a presidential veto. In the meantime, visit the White House and let Mr. Bush know your thoughts on the legislation.

And while your clicking away, visit the Matthew Shepard Foundation and buy an "Erase Hate" tee!

7 August 2007: That is Dr. Richard to you

2007-08-07T11:14:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it. It's been a little over a week and I still can't believe it ... I am finished my doctoral program! Yippee!! All that is left is the mundane (but essential) paperwork and thesis binding.

My defense was scheduled for Friday July 27th 1:30 pm to 3:30 pm. A day that will live in infamy! Actually, it was a day that almost didn't happen (yes, the 27th would occur, but my defense might not have). On the preceding Wednesday evening, I received an e-mail from one of my thesis readers. Her mother was ill and she would not be able to make the defense on Friday. Needless (needles) to say, I didn't sleep at all on Wednesday night and was a total basket case on Thursday morning. Fortunately, my advisor was able to work with the registrar's office to get things smoothed over for a defense. Of course, that meant that I had one night less sleep and preparation than I would have liked. Hell, I didn't finalize my slides for the talk until Thursday afternoon!

On Friday, I was a nervous nelly (literally). I wore a new summer suit that I had picked up at BR. It was a cool tan with a light blue shirt and tie underneath. They say that wearing blue increases the audience's trust in your message. I felt I needed that little trick! I arrived a bit early to make sure that the room was ready ... A/V equipment was there, shades were drawn, and the A/C was at an acceptable level. Once my committee arrived, I was asked to step outside so that they could organize.

After that, it was a bit of a blur ... I presented my research in about 50 minutes. I stumbled in a few places, but overall I think that it went quite well. I can brush up the talk a bit - streamline a few points and expand on a few others - and have a nice talk for grand rounds. Following the talk, I fielded questions from each of the committee members. I felt a bit like Tony Snow (only I didn't have cancer and I wasn't trying to cover for a bumbling idiot). The questions were very good. They were focused on the larger implications of my research rather than on nuts and bolts of my project - I had expected this and had prepared a few canned responses. Then it was back in the hallway to await my fate.

Fifteen minutes (that felt like an eternity) and I was being greeted as Dr. by my advisor. My dissertation was accepted without need for revisions - a rarity I was told. So it was back to the conference room for some well deserved champagne.

Signing off for now is your favorite (newly minted) Balti-whore.

20 July 2007: Watersports makes it to Discovery

2007-07-20T15:54:00.001-04:00

This is quite amazing. I saw Bear on a late night talkie and was amazed the stuff that he was saying. Here is a clip of him drinking his own urine. At least now I know how to survive on the mean streets of B'more!

Have a great weekend ... in a week, I'll be a doctor!

13 July 2007: Exercising may damage your health ...

2007-07-16T23:17:00.000-04:00

... your financial health, that is.

I meant to post this earlier, but I've been running around like crazy. On Friday (yes, the 13th), I decided to knock off of work two hours early and head to the campus athletic center for an afternoon of cardio and light weights. I got to the gym and showed my ID badge to be let in. After changing down in the locker room, I headed for the cardio equipment. The set up is amazing ... right in front of large windows that look over the northern part of the campus. After running and stretching, I headed down to the weight room to polish off a few sets. Nothing too extreme, mind you - I have to maintain my delicately balanced swimmer's build.

When I was finished, I made my way to the locker room to shower off the sweaty grime that I had worked up. Imagine my surprise to find my lock missing from my locker. Upon close inspection I realized that, yes you saw it coming, my wallet was missing. Damn! Damn! Damn! In a state of disbelief, I just sat there for a few minutes. Then I realized that some asshole had my wallet in his pocket and I was sure that he was going to let it burn a hole in his pocket. This is where it turns in to a plug for Apple's iPhone. I whipped it out of my sport case and immediately called my credit union to cancel my check card ... no fraudulent charges there. Then I realized that I had my Discover card and my American Express in my wallet. But I didn't have the numbers to call. No worries, I opened my Safari browser and went to each respective site for the lost card number. Simply pressing the number in the browser activated the phone and in minutes (well, several minutes of voice menus) I was talking to the Discover agent ...$1400 in Best Buy charges for which I have no liability ... and then the American Express agent ... nothing bad there. After canceling cards that I later realized weren't even in that wallet, I was a bit more at ease. I gave my story to the campus police ... with two other guys that got hit. They have the asshole on camera coming out of the locker room - but I doubt they will ever find him.

I guess it could have been worse ... I could have been mugged ... he could have tapped my credit union account (I'm not sure what my liability would have been there - better check out) ... I could have had more cash in my wallet (like $36 isn't enough to lose). At least I saved some money this weekend by not having access to it! But I still can't get past the fact that some asshole is out there enjoying $1400 worth of electronics for which he didn't pay a dime!

Signing off to do more reading for my dissertation defense is your favorite (slightly more street-wise) Balti-whore.

13 July 2007: It's all Greek to me

2007-07-13T09:22:00.000-04:00

It seems that our ancient Greek brothers and sisters were on to something. No, I am not talking about their acceptance of same-sex relationships or their early adoption of manscaping. I am referring to the wonderful healing properties of the little olive. This story reported in the Advocate promises an extra weapon in the arsenal for the battle against HIV.

Olive oil has become an essential ingredient in the fight against HIV, according to a press release from Spain's University of Granada on Thursday.

Research performed by the Bionat team, headed by Prof. Andrés García-Granados, has found that maslinic acid—a product found naturally in dry olive-pomace oil—inhibits serin-protease, an enzyme used by the virus to release itself and spread through the whole body. The study determined that the use of olive-pomace oil can produce an 80% decrease in the spread of HIV.

In the press release García-Granados and the Bionat team expressed their hope to develop an efficient way to produce and market new maslinic acid by-products to augment the fight against HIV. (The Advocate)

Of course, the team at Bionat aren't the first ones to report such a finding. The inhibitory properties of maslinic acid were first reported in Journal of Natural Products by a research team in Singapore.

9 July 2007: Why is it so quiet here

2007-07-09T07:33:00.000-04:00

I am sitting in my office, I've been here for an hour and it's only 7:34 AM. I was wondering why it was so quiet and now I realize it. It is still friggin' early. I posted for the first time in month last night ... thanks Dan for commenting (I will definitely give you a holler when I get to San Fran in December). It seems that the simple act of blogging caused a horrific insomnia. That and the fact that I couldn't stop listening to Music for Tourists by Chris Garneau.

Isn't that a haunting song? The entire album is like that ... his softly sung vocals and heartrending lyrics ... I didn't coin that phrase, it came from a review. Anyway, listening to the album put me in a bit of a melancholy mood. That probably made it harder for me to shut down and get some sleep.

After rolling around in bed until 2:00 AM (It wasn't as fun as it should have been), I decided this tossin' and turnin' was for the birds. I grabbed a cold glass of OJ and set about working on my defense presentation a bit ... just a bit. I had some e-mails to return (several from my colleagues in Puerto Rico). I caught up on some stories in the NY Times and on MacWorld (I am now a devotee - having my sleek black MacBook - which I tricked out by upgrading the hard drive and the memory myself - and my superb iPhone).

As 4:30 AM rolled around, I just had to get out of the house. I donned my darkest running gear, strapped my iPhone to my waist-band, and put my ID and housekeys around my neck to head out for a quick morning run. Here is my route for all of you would be stalkers (please do show up and bring some doughnuts).

I really am not the greatest runner ... but I am getting there taking baby steps. The circuit is 1.44 miles. My goal is to be able to extend it by proceeding on to San Martin Drive and proceeding further south. It's a goal. I want to join a running group, the Baltimore Frontrunners, in the Fall. So I have to get my training on!

Welll, I have a long day ahead of me (one that will be regularly punctuated with trips to the coffee machine). Signing out with lots of love is your favorite (wrung-out and tired) Balti-whore!

8 July 2007: It's hot in here

2007-07-08T22:22:00.000-04:00

I can't believe that it reached 101 F today ... the F is for friggin' hot. Tomorrow is supposed to be even worse ... a forecasted 103 F. That is according to the weather widget on my cool new iPhone. Yes, ladies and gentlemen I stood on line at the Apple store to pick up one of these nuggets. I got to the mall at around 5:20 PM with the girls in tow. We had gone to pick up the SIMS Complete Collection ... we just love those games. Well, after gnoshing on some Chik-Fil-A (did I completely botch that spelling?). We took our place in the line ... it hadn't grown much. It was pretty uneventful ... the Starbucks crew was serving free coffee ... I got interviewed on a live radio feed ... and then the Apple team came out whooping to get us whipped to a frenzy. It didn't really work ... just a lackluster applause from the crowd. As has been extensively written, the whole process went rather smoothly, by 6:20 PM we were in the car headed home. I've had it a little over a week now and it's great. It turns heads in a crowded restaurant.

I'm sorry that I haven't kept in better touch with people. I have been feverishly preparing for my dissertation defense ... it got pushed back a few weeks thanks to a committee member's travel schedule. So, in less than 3 weeks I am going to be a doctor! Exciting, huh?

Well, it's late here (10:29 PM) and I am ready for bed ... Once something exciting happens to me (more exciting than the weather, that is) I promise to get back on the blog bandwagon.

One final thing ... I am going to be in Austin in October and San Fran in December ... give me a shout for some fun things to do in those locales!

08 June 2007: Where is Scott?

2007-06-08T09:35:00.000-04:00

OK, so I am in San Juan again (third trip this year), but only for two days this time. As I was sitting on the balcony of my hotel room last night, I was thinking of how the evening should unfold ... yes, a bit of romantic fantasy came into play.

In my mind, I would go in to my room, take a shower, and put on a nice casual outfit. I would then head down to the hotel restaurant Madrid San Juan for some cocktails and tapas. While enjoying a cold and refreshing Tanqueray and Tonic with a twist of lime (for those that will buy me a drink the next time that I see them) and chatting with Luis the bartender, a handsome gentleman would take the seat next to me. He would order a drink and then turn to introduce himself. His name would be Scott (admittedly, I just pulled that from thin air) and he would be from Baltimore (how convenient is that). We would strike up a nice conversation about Baltimore and about coming to Puerto Rico on business - not sure what he would do for a living, I have to leave some things to be a mystery. After spending an enjoyable 90 minutes or so, he would ask me if I would like to take a walk around the hotel grounds. We would walk out to the overlook where they feed fish during the day. It is a beautiful promontory where the waves from the Atlantic crash on the rocks below. It would be a misty evening as he takes my hand in his and tells me that he would really like to see me back in Baltimore. I would lean in for a kiss and fireworks would go off in the distance. I'll leave the rest of my fantasy in my head and just remind everyone what a good boy I am as they start to fill in the blanks.

The evening went off pretty much as envisioned, up to the point of Scott sitting at the bar next to me. He never showed up, the bitch. In any event, i had a rather enjoyable evening talking to Luis about bar sluts and talking to a gentleman from Ohio about Harry Potter - he even bought a rather nice bottle of red wine for us to share. Now I am working on a few projects in my hotel room - with the balcony door open to enjoy the smell of the ocean. I will be heading off to Old San Juan around noon to enjoy sangria with a colleague from the university. I can't complain about that!

Signing off with much love is your favorite (an well-tanned) Balti-whore.

29 May 2007: Say it ain't so

2007-05-29T07:06:00.000-04:00

First it was Oscar Wilde in England. Then it was the Nazi persecution of homosexuals during World War II. After that, it was police intimidation and brutality at the Stonewall Bar on Christopher Street in NYC. Now, our detractors have fallen to a new low ... the investigation of the Tele-Tubbies for promoting homosexuality. Now, I am of Polish descent and I hate those damn jokes that plague my countrymen. However, when they pull shit like this, I say let them fly with both barrels!

(Warsaw) The Polish government has reportedly begun an investigation to determine if Tinky Winky and other Teletubbies are promoting homosexuality to children.

The Reuters news service reported Monday that the government's watchdog for children's rights has asked a panel of psychologists to investigate the popular children's television series.

Ewa Sowinska said she was concerned the popular show promoted homosexuality to unsuspecting minors.

Her remarks were immediately likened to those several years ago of the late US evangelist Jerry Falwell who accused Tinky Winky of being gay because he carried a purse.

Falwell's remarks were largely dismissed at the time by even most of his evangelical supporters, but Poland's actions are the latest in a series of anti-gay moves that have European civil rights advocates concerned about a potential pogrom.

Earlier this month Education Minister Roman Giertych unveiled draft legislation that would make it a criminal offence to "promote homosexual propaganda" in schools. (story)

If passed the measure would essentially censor all discussion of homosexuality in schools and other academic institutions. LGBT organizations would be barred from schools and "teachers who reveal their homosexuality will be fired from work."

Giertych's draft bill, however, does not say exactly would constitute promoting homosexuality.

Giertych defined it as "every action that is dependent on the public presentation of a certain belief with the intention of convincing others to that viewpoint." But critics say it is so vague it could lead to witch hunts.

Polish President Lech Kaczynski supports the bill.

Last year, the State Prosecutor's office issued a letter to prosecutors in the municipalities of Legnica, Wroclaw, Walbryzch, Opole and Jelenia Gora ordering in sweeping terms investigations into the conduct of "homosexuals" on unspecified allegations of "pedophilia."

Before being elected the the presidency, Kaczynski as mayor of Warsaw banned gay pride celebrations in the capitol from 2004 to 2006. The action prompted an appeal to the European Court of Human Rights that found Kaczynski acted illegally and discriminatory.

Current Warsaw Mayor Hanna Gronkiewicz Walz has approved this year's pride parade based on the ruling.

24 May 2007: It will be my undoing

2007-05-24T15:24:00.001-04:00

Of course, I am speaking about Netflix's newest feature ... the ability to watch movies from their database on your computer. The newest feature, which is being rolled out this month and next (from what I gather) allows registered users to search a limited database (of over 2,000 movies) to find a title that matches their fancy. I was browsing this afternoon and was quite impressed with the selection.

I have been a Netflix customer for about six months now. After moving out, I couldn't afford to have cable or DirectTV run to my new apartment ... I am already paying for that and high-speed internet access for my former casa. So I decided to give Netflix a try. I've been impressed with their customer service - I've had a few problems along the way ... one disc arrived cracked and one never made it to me. They've been very helpful .. much more helpful whenever I had called my local cable company to try to get my OnDemand movie service to work.

My problem, of course lies in the fact that now movies are much to accessible. This is a problem with someone like me. Someone who has a hard time (especially of late) to prevent his mind from wandering off topic. Now I could be sitting at my desk in my office and, within a few clicks of the mouse, be watching The Motorcycle Diaries or The Children's Hour. It was bad enough when I was breaking my day up watching 10-minute snippets of on-line porn clips (just kidding about that one), now I have access to feature length films at my finger tips.

The only good thing is that right now the service is only compatible with Internet Explorer and Windows XP service pack 2 or later. Since I have been a Mac convert since November 2006, it takes a little bit of effort for me to boot up my alternate O/S in order to run these movies. Of course, once Netflix gets with the program and releases a Mac/Safari version, I'll be in loads of trouble.

Until later, your favorite (and cinematically-sated) Balti-whore.

5 May 2007: You are my everything

2007-05-04T10:59:00.000-04:00

19 April 2007: That makes two ...

2007-04-19T00:43:00.000-04:00

The first, of course was Kurt Vonnegut. I can still remember cracking the cover of Slaughterhouse Five when I was in high school. None of my classmates had ever heard of Vonnegut. I can't even remember what made me pick the book off of the shelf at the local library. It was, and still is, a classic. One man's oddly surreal story of surviving the bombing of Dresden ... then being spirited away to some alien planet. OK, that is where it loses most people. However, the story was clever and incredibly funny ... in its own way. Now he is gone ... and I had just finished re-reading his Man Without a Country. If you haven't done so, crack open one of his books. He is, excuse me ... was one of the most insightful writers of the 20th century.

The second is Mrs. Kitty Carlisle Hart. Now, I got my first dose of Kitty Carlisle on To Tell the Truth. Albeit in re-runs ... I'm not that old, bitches! As I was reading the piece written about her on 365gay.com, I could help but stumble over this sentence ...

She served on the state arts council from 1971 to 1996, including 20 years as its chairwoman. In 1988, she testified in Albany to a legislative committee amid complaints that the council had funded gay-oriented projects.

"We fund art," she said. "We are neutral as far as anyone else is concerned. We don't fund anyone's point of view."

And here I was wondering why my generation had a bit harder time with coming out than todays. I graduated high school in 1989 ... that's one year after Ms. Carlisle Hart was grilled over her purported support of gay-oriented projects. I guess that means we've come a long way, baby!

In any event, those two will be missed ... a witty observer of society and a grand dame with class. We love you!

28 March 2007: MTV goes gay?

2007-03-29T14:41:00.000-04:00

OK, I will be the first to admit that I am behind the cultural eight ball on a lot of things. Kilts? I am just now starting to wear one. Mullets? Same thing, just had my hair cut yesterday. Now you are telling me that it is okay to be gay in the MTV generation? I knew that kids were much more accepting today than they were in the Stone Age (re: my high school years). However, I nearly fell off of the elliptical bike at the gym when I caught sight of the MTV Spring Break.

The first episode was your typical dumb joke trying to pick one of five overly developed young ladies. However, the second episode featured this really cute stud attempting to find a date for some fun in the sun. Next scene feature five cute college boys rolling up in a tour bus. Since I was at the gym, I couldn't hear what was happening - but there was closed captioning. Each of the five young men strutted off of the bus in turn. Their attempts to woo the cute stud were rather weak, but clearly they were into him.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Aren't we all totally above these mindless sex-ploitation shows? Of course we are, right? I am just impressed that gay is becoming such a mainstay of our culture that we get our own episode of Next.

Signing off if your favorite (and wishing he were a college student again) Balti-whore.

27 March 2007: Only in (North) America

2007-03-27T08:31:00.000-04:00

The French have long accused the United States of exporting our culture in such a way that belies an imperial tendency. We have exported the love of California around the world, the experience of Disney to Japan and Europe, and the insatiable desire for beef throughout South America. I guess it was only time before we exported our more sadistic nature to the rest of the world. At least we are keeping it in our own backyard this time. Spring Break anyone?

ACAPULCO, Mexico - A 14-year-old boy was detained after allegedly killing a 4-year-old girl because her father made fun of his acne, Mexican prosecutors said Monday.

Yurani Yuliec Garcia Organes was killed on March 16 in the Pacific resort town of Zihuatanejo, where the victim and her father lived just a few yards from the boy's house.

Authorities said the boy, who was detained Saturday, told police the girl's father had called him "graniento," or "zit-face."

"He acknowledged having taken the girl's life out of resentment he felt toward the girl's father ... because he made fun of the problem he has with acne," said Guerrero state prosecutor Loyo Malabar.

"He acknowledged hitting the girl twice with his hands and putting his foot on her neck until she died of asphyxiation," the prosecutor told reporters.

Loyo Malabar said the boy wrapped the body in plastic bags and hid it in his house for two days before dumping it outside her grandparents' home, where it was discovered the next day.

The victim's father denied he made fun of the boy, and said he had only recommended an ointment he could use to reduce his acne problem.

Neighbors said the boy had long shown signs of disturbed behavior.

The boy was remanded to a center for juvenile offenders. Under Mexican law, he cannot face trial and can be held only until he turns 18.

Now, as a teenager, I had a fairly bad case of acne. Working in a movie theater with its air laden with popcorn oil didn't help the matter. Neither did having parents that weren't capable of providing a naiive young boy with the information necessary to handle the affliction. Their advice was to scrub morning, noon, and night. So I ended up with dry and irritated skin and zits to boot! I never felt like killing anyone over it, though. This is probably because in all of my years of enduring taunts (as a rail thin, lispy brainiac I provided plenty of other targets), no one ever really picked on my because of my complexion. I guess it was the third rail of high school bullying. Sort of like how you wouldn't make fun of the girl with leukemia for wearing that ghastly head scarf.

Then, last night, I was reading in one of my oldest daughter's American Girl books (not the historical kind, but the "how to be a girl" kind). This book was full of true stories of adversities that girls faced - like divorce, moving, grandparents dying. One girl wrote in about having a form of alopecia that made all of her hair fall out. Her body was basically allergic to her hair (makes waxing a breeze, huh?). When it started she was in elementary school. She tried wigs made of fake hair - but they never really stuck to her head. She finally got a human hair wig from Locks of Love that did the trick. The kicker, to me, was that girls made fun of her when she had the bad wig. Now, granted if you see a drag queen with a bad wig it is your civic duty to heckle her. But a kid with an obvious medical reason for hair loss - how cruel! I guess we've come a long way, baby!

11 March 2007: Running with scissors

2007-03-14T10:00:00.000-04:00

Well, not really with scissors, though that may have come in handy. This past Sunday, I woke at 5:30 a.m. (really it was 6:30 a.m., thanks Georgie-boy). I felt a need for speed. So I suited up and decided to go for a run. My original plan was to head to the gym - but a quick internet check told me that it wouldn't open until 10 a.m. So it was settled, I would be taking my show on the road.

This is the old Stieff Silver plant that closed in the early 1990s. Now it is a satellite office complex for Johns Hopkins. Pretty much the whole city is going to be owned by Johns Hopkins one day. At least I'll have a short commute! Jogging past this landmark, I picked up the trail leading into Druid Hill Park.

Here is a little bit of information about the Park ...

Druid Hill Park is a 746-acre public park district which lies east of Reisterstown Road and east of Swann Drive, north of Cloverdale Road, west of the Jones Falls Expressway, and south of Druid Hill Drive. The landscaping and park structures were designed as an ensemble. Most of the original buildings are still intact. The park is characterized by a dam, an old boat lake (now a part of the zoological exhibit), several natural springs, and miles of old carriage and bridle paths which traverse the wooded parkland.

Well known areas include the Prospect and Tempest Hills, which are famous for their vistas, Philosopher's Walk, Terrapin's Back, Reservoir Hill, and the Dell. Among the more important structures are the arched gateway at Madison Avenue and Druid Hill Lake Drive, the Boat House, a part of the Chinese Station, the Conservatory or Palm House, the Octagonal Shelter, the Chess and Checkers Pavilion, and the 19th century early Federal style mansion. Also included within the park district is the Rogers family cemetery behind the mansion house and several statues, including the most widely known Columbus and George Washington Statues dating from the late 19th century. A major portion of the park remains as originally planned.

The thing about the park, like most urban parks, is that it is often a site of drug deals, shooting dens, body dumps, and other assorted urban past times. Now, supposedly, it is undergoing a rennaisance. I wasn't sure (hence the idea that running with scissors might not be a bad idea). However, I decided to brave it - after all, it was pretty darned early. Most crazies would still be passed out on the street corners and in the back alleys.

I found that I was in much worse shape then I thought. That is what having a boyfriend will do to you, I guess. I made it all the way around the reservior, however, I only ran about two-thirds of it - prefering to skip 1/3 of the way around. Stealing a page from Chad Fox's play book, I decided to snap these pictures with my cell phone camera.

The final shot for the day is a scary one ... it is me after this ordeal!

That is to quell the rumours that this site only exists to serve as a shrine to my magnificence.

Signing off for now is your favorite (with the sore legs to prove it) Balti-whore.

08 March 2007: Party at the piano bar

2007-03-08T11:07:00.000-05:00

This past Monday was my friend Don's 41st birthday party. The soiree was held at a little piano bar here in Baltimore ... Jay's on Read. This place is a little bar with oak paneling, comfortable chairs and sofas around the perimeter of the space, an oak bar with leather barstools, and a raised dias with a baby grand piano at the rear. There is a cute little coat check closet in the back and a set of small bathrooms in the basement. The atmosphere is very casual and the drinks are rather pricey (by Baltimore standards, that is).

For the party, Don had arranged to have caterers bring in trays of hour d'ouvres. I'm not really big on mini pizzas and sausage rolls, so I was glad that I ate before hand. I got to see alot of the men from my support group - so that was really nice. I met my friend Bryan's boyfriend Robert - an older gentleman that professed to be an excellent singer but lacking in knowledge of the words to any song that the piano player could play. I got to introduce them to Eric. The evening was a lot of fun. Don had a series of door prizes to give away at the end of the night. I won a gift basket with bath products. I was a bit miffed that I didn't win the "10 minutes in the coat check room with the birthday boy" or the "10-inch dildo" - but that's just my luck, I guess!

The rest of this week has been spent working, working, and working. Last night, I also did some soul searching regarding my current relationship. I know that I have bent the ears of some of my readers in recent days. For the advice (or just listening), I really want to send out a big sloppy thank you.

Working on the rest of my life is your favorite Balti-whore.

06 March 2007: I am not canned ham!

2007-03-06T15:34:00.000-05:00

Well, it seem s that the security conscious folk at Blogger have decided to tag my blog as a Spam Blog. How embarrassing. I couldn't be flagged as a filet mignon blog or as a smoked salmon blog. Oh well, I guess my roots are showing. Until the good people decide to review my blog ... none of you are going to see this post.

27 February 2006: He said what ...

2007-02-27T08:39:00.000-05:00

Last night, I dropped in for one of the follow-up meetings for my gay support group. I had blogged about this group before ... the title (and mission) of the old group was to "Acknowledge, Understand, and Accept" our sexuality. Coming to the full realization (or admission) of my sexuality at an older age ... that's right biotch, I'm 35 ... I felt that this would be a wonderful way for me to gain a wider perspective on gay identity, to discuss my apprehensions to a receptive audience, and to come to some better understanding of myself. Well, it worked ... sort of. After the initial 12-week program ended, the moderator decided (and we agreed) that it would be nice to establish an informal twice-monthly drop-in meeting where we could have a safe place to discuss things in our lives.

It was a decidedly smaller group last night (just three of us plus the moderator for the first half hour). I already knew one of the men and there was an older man there that I hadn't met before. Well, I started discussing my apprehensions about jumping in to a serious life-long committment so soon after ending another and coming out. It was great to be able to voice these fears out loud and to get constructive feedback from the group. The thing that really threw me, however, were some of the comments that the older gentleman made. My basic story last night was that, although I could see myself spending the rest of my life with my boyfriend, I wasn't ready to make that serious committment right now. We are still in the getting to know one another phase. Hell, he doesn't even fully realize the depth of my obsession with Alias and Michael Vartan. He does know of my love of Sara Silverman ... and he doesn't really get her humour (that's for my Canadian friends). Here are some of the comments made in response by this older gentleman ...

"Do you both drive cars?"

"Do you wear the same size clothes?"

"Did you go through his closets to look for ladies clothes?"

These just seemed to come out of left field with now back-up. It wasn't like he followed up that last comment with some observation of perhaps this guy is bisexual or perhaps this guy is a drag queen or perhaps this guy is a pre-op trannie. It was just that question. I didn't know what to say.

It got worse when the fourth member of our little meeting arrived. He talked about his wonderful weekend and his newly honed social skills. He talked about weaning himself off of his anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication this Spring. We were all very supportive and our social worker moderator made it clear that he needed to work closely with his therapist when tapering off of these medications. Again, our old friend made some pointed remarks (albeit pointing in a direction that none of us could see.) ...

"Do you drink coffee?"

"You should watch Meet Me in St. Louis with the trolley song."

"Did your harness have a d-ring for a leash?"

OK, so we sort of knew where that last one was going. However, the other two were rather strange. In any event, he was a sweet old man and is apparently very active in the gay community in Baltimore. I'll probably see him around, so I'll have to remember his name.

Well lovelies ... I need to get to work. I have 11 protocols to read for an institutional review board meeting this afternoon. I am such a slacker! Signing off, as always, is your favorite Balti-whore!

21 February 2006: The bitch is back ...

2007-02-21T19:02:00.000-05:00

The news of my death (or more precisely my blog's death) are greatly exaggerated. After many weeks , perhaps months, of absence, I am returning to the blog-o-sphere. Partly, I am prodded along by some wonderful messages that I have received from gay men currently in marriages. To know that I, through my blog, have touched the lives of people is truly amazing. What a small world in which we live. I am also prodded by the fact that Curtis, my Canadian lover, has shacked up with someone else and completely dropped me! With that sad fact, I have lost my connection with the international gay syndicate that is Calgary.

So, what has that crazy Balti-whore been up to these past few months? Well, sit a spell and I'll tell you. Are you comfy? Do you need a refill on your coffee? Great ... well, since last we spoke, I have been working tirelessly on my dissertation. I really do plan to finish it by the Spring (of 2007, that is). So this requires great sacrifice from yours truly. I am fortunate in that my doctoral program allows us to take a three paper option, as opposed to the traditional 400 page opus. I have chosen the three paper option because (1) it is fewer pages all together and (2) it makes for having three publishable products right at graduation. The down-side is that these three papers, although shorter, have to contain the same amount of information and insight. Thus, they must me tight and fulfilling, sort of like me! This has meant countless meetings with my advisory committee (a top notch set of researchers) and endless edits. I am getting there, though, so start baking the cakes. I prefer carrot cake!

In addition to putting the finishing touches on my academic crown jewels, I have been dealing with the dissolution of my marriage of thirteen years. It has been very rough on me (and on everyone else involved, too - however, this is my outlet, so I'll do the whining!). Things were going quite well until I decided to grow a bit of a backbone. By this, I mean that things were smooth sailing as long as I was willing to foot all of the bills, to keep the kids at every opportunity, and to be the "gay best friend" when it came to listening to the latest boyfriend. That just grew to be too much for me. I pushed for a reasonable settlement agreement and that's when the shit hit the fan (or me, to be precise). Things have quieted down a bit, partly because I am not being as militant for my rights as I finished the dissertation. However, the whole ordeal have freed me from being friendly to the ex's family ... they all hate me now. In fact, they don't even want to lay eyes on me. I still keep the girls three nights a week ... but I really enjoy that. It's loads of fun and I get to help them with homework and school projects. Plus it is a real kick being able to drop them off at school two mornings a week.

As if I didn't have enough going on right now ... I've found a boyfriend in the last few months. After being unceremoniously dumped via text message, I landed in the lap of another man. He is very intelligent, very sweet, and very loving. Almost too loving ... there, it's official, I'm a bitch! Seriously, though. I do have to talk to him because I just feel that things are progressing much faster than my comfort level can allow. I mean, he has already alluded to moving in together and getting married. While I do love him, I just am not ready to jump into that kind of relationship after just getting out of one. It's going to be a very difficulty conversation to have, but it will have to come soon! The funny thing is (and I told my friend this the other night), I feel that he just wants to be in a relationship and that I just happened to be there at the right time. Perhaps I am wrong, but that is the impression that I am getting. I know ... talk to the man, right? I will.

So there, that sort of brings you up to speed. I haven't talked about my trip to Puerto Rico two weeks ago or some other fun things that have happened to me. I can pepper my blog with those gems in the coming days. I am just glad to be back ... it will feel so good to hit the publish button!

I love you all ... signing off for now is your favorite (work weary) Balti-whore!

21 December 2006: Only in la-la-land

2006-12-20T11:38:00.000-05:00

LOS ANGELES - A woman mistakenly put her 1-month-old grandson through an X-ray machine at Los Angeles International Airport, authorities said.
A startled security worker noticed the shape of a child on the carry-on baggage screening monitor and immediately pulled him out, the Los Angeles Times reported for a story in Wednesday's editions.
The infant was taken to a local hospital, where doctors determined he did not receive a dangerous dose of radiation.
"This was an innocent mistake by an obviously inexperienced traveler," said Paul Haney, deputy executive director of airports and security for the city's airport agency.
The incident happened early Saturday, airport officials said.
Haney said in 1988, an infant in a car seat went through an X-ray machine at the Los Angeles airport.

I bet that Shaniqua was quite surprised to see the baby shape. I wonder if that would constitute more than 3 ounces of liquid for carry-on regulations. I'm sorry ma'am, but since you declared the baby as carry-on luggage, we are going to have to confiscate him based on heightened TSA security regulations.

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful ChrismaHanuKwanzika. I know that I am. My presents are purchased (except one for my new boyfriend), are wrapped (except one for my new boyfriend), and under the tree (except one for my new boyfriend). Other than that, I just have a few different types of cookies to bake.

I also have to pick up the ingredients for a home-made pizza on Christmas Eve. It is sort of a tradition that I am building with my girls. We are going to go to early mass at our new church. After mass, we are going to go back to my apartment and they will each get to open one present. We will then work together to create a masterpiece of a pizza (without any funky holiday-alterations to the ingredients, though reindeer pepperoni might be tasty!). After a bit, I will take them back to their mother's for beddy-bye time. We'll see how it goes this year, it's a work in progress!

Well, angel-cakes ... signing off from B'more is your favorite (and extremely happy) Balti-whore. If I don't talk to you all before the holidays, have a safe and happy one and know that you are loved!

14 December 2006: A very merry Christmas

2006-12-14T15:00:00.000-05:00

Last night was the McGarrigle Family Christmas concert at Carnegie Hall in Manhattan. I was there in the front row drooling over Rufus Wainwright. I've linked to Amazon.com because I think that everyone should have the album - it is a great mix of songs for the season. I am particular to "Spotlight on Christmas" and "Rebel Jesus" - that would be Jebus to all of my Canadian heathens!

For all of the glitz and glamor (glamour) that is Cargnegie Hall, the show really had the feel of simply sitting around a piano and listening to the Wainwright/McGarrigle family sing their favorite Christmas songs. The intimacy was further enhanced by the playful banter between Martha and Rufus. At one point, trying to decide whether to play the tambourine, Rufus said that he would just rub two flutes together. Martha responded with, "that's disgusting." Rufus shot back, "no it's not." To which his sister corrected herself and said that no, it really wasn't disgusting. A bit of political-correctness from his sis' for our most favorite out performer, hmm?

Special guests included Lauria Anderson, Teddy Thompson and his family (mom and sis), Joseph Gibson-Levitt, Antony, Jimmy Fallon, and Lou Reed. They really added to the texture of the show. Having Teddy and his family there made it seem even more like a simple get-together around the piano. Singing some rather dour seasonal offerings, I was reminded of the dry English humour. The crowd favorite of the evening was a rousing protest song written and sung by Joe ... he of 3rd Rock and Latter Days fame ... that included a line that (paraphrasing here) if a war isn't right on Christmas, how could it ever be right! Antony sang two songs ... Blue Christmas, where he channeled the King quite effectively ... and Snowy Angels written by a dear friend of his. The crowd really ate him up. Cute little Jimmy Fallon (of SNL fame) wowed the crowd with a rendition of "Baby, It's Cold Outside" with Martha. They flubbed the words quite a bit, but obviously were having a great time. Besides, who could not have a good time sitting ten feet away from little Jimmy Fallon? I know that I can't! The most interesting point of the evening was listening to Lou Reed singing "White Christmas" and "Silent Night". In the first song, he seemed a bit lost, but he picked up his trademark flare for the monotone with Silent Night. It was quite good, though a bit odd. I kept waiting for the colored girls!

While the special guests were great, I am just in love with Rufus ... as many of you have now surmissed. He was adorable in a red velvet cap, green velvet jacket and cute little vest. I could just eat him up! I'm listening to the McGarrigle Family Christmas album right now. I strongly urge you all to pick up a copy!

Singing off for now if you favorite (Rufus-loving) Balti-whore.

12 December 2006: A noticeable absence

2006-12-12T09:33:00.000-05:00

I must apologize to the one or two readers that I have left on this blog. With the onslaught of winter, I have just not been able to find the energy to write my thoughts and feelings down on this blog. In part, that is a lie ... because I am sure that I could have forced myself to write. The thing is, I thought that I was falling in love. And all of my energy was devoted to that mission.

It started out innocently enough, a casual meeting through a friend at a bar. Some nice conversation, a promise of a lunch date in the coming week, and a handshake goodnight. Wow, I thought ... is this how a responsible and mature gay relationship might start? To say that the lunch date was wonderful would be an understatement. The guy in question works at the same University where I work, but at a different location in Baltimore. We lunched on sushi at a cute little cafe overlooking the water in Fells Point. We got to take off our shoes and sit on pillows. He was so cute ... in his over-sized glasses and rumpled blazer.

The next time we saw each other was for a quick drink at the local bar ... the same bar where we met. We had planned on meeting for Smiths/Morrissey karaoke, but that got canceled. It wasn't a lot of time that we spent together that night, but the conversation flowed easily between us. His eyes sparkled when he looked at me. I was quickly becoming mesmerized by him.

The third date was for dinner at a hip little lounge. It was a mainly straight place, but that didn't stop us from kissing each other many times during our meal. It wasn't really much of a meal, I was too busy devouring his stories and experiences and offering up mine for him. After dinner, we lazily walked back to the car and, before getting in, shared a passionate kiss that made the whole world disappear ... simply melt away ... all I could feel were his lips on mine ... all I could hear was the sound of his sweet breath as it hit my face.

Then I had to go out of town for a conference ... after that, nothing was the same. He said it was because he was busy at work ... I got scared, but tried to believe what he was telling me. Then on the Thursday after I returned ... the night that we were to go out to a nice dinner with candlelight and live jazz ... I got a text message from him at 8:00 AM. As I walked out of an early morning faculty meeting, this is what was displayed on my telephone ...

Hey there ... I have a confession 2 make ... I have been seeing this guy and things seem to be getting serious ... I've been a pussy for not being more upfront with you about it. and a pussy now for texting you because I'm no good with this stuff ... anyway I realy dig him and I want to see where it goes ... I think you are amazing richard and if there is anyway we can be friends, i would cherish the opportunity ... sincerely, jeff

To say that I was blind-sided would have been an extreme understatement. All the while, he was telling me that he wanted to take things at a nice pace with me. A "nice pace" must mean stringing me a long while he decides whether he likes guy A better than guy B. Of course, I could be bitter, but that's not my thing.

I was in a complete shock and still had a whole day of work and meetings ahead of me. I called him immediately back, but couldn't really find the words to say ... here was my script (I find that it helps to write things out in order to keep to the point).

Wow ... it's really all I can say. That your text message was a shock is an understatement. I don't blame you for being more interested in someone else, we all have to follow our heart. That is what I was doing. As for not telling me that you were seeing someone else, that is probably for the best, too. I would have just tried harder to win your affection and then felt even more stupid than I already do.

All I can really express is how sad that I am. I really thought that we had the possibility of something real between us. I am not stating that to make you feel guilty, but just as a statement of fact.

The timing is perfect, however, as I am meeting with my boss today to come out to him. I figured if I was dating someone that was so intricately involved in the department it would be quite awkward for me still not being completely out at work. Now I just hope that I don't cry during my meeting with him. Wish me luck!

Finally, I'd like to think that I would want to be friends with you. I have to think about what my motivation would be, though. Would I just be waiting in the wings and praying that something would happen between you and Mr. X? I'd like to think that wouldn't be the case, but I just don't know right now. The wound is too fresh.

Remember that the phone works both ways. It wouldn't be such a bad thing for you to call to see how I am doing sometime.

He told me that he would like to sit down and have a coffee after the "dust settles." We will see about that, I still can't get over being dumped via text message ... is that the new post-it ... is he my Berger?

So there you have it ... from your favorite (slightly second-hand) Balti-whore.

20 November 2006: Where is Richard ...

2006-11-20T08:59:00.000-05:00

... or more specifically; from whence does Richard's dialect come?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The Midland
The South
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

This cut-and-paste code doesn't look as pretty as it did on the original web-site. Thanks to Darin for the fun little diversion.

14 November 2006: It does a body good

2006-11-14T09:52:00.000-05:00

I am amazed at the ingenuity of scientists to overcome global issues. I was looking through my local newspaper's web-site when I caught this story. It seems that those ever-green farmers in Vermont are finding novel ways to reduce the impact that their operations have on the environment. By re-using the poo that comes from their dairy cows, they generate fertilizer, electricity (for their annual needs and a surplus to sell), and a sawdust alternative. Aside from the cruelty of having these animals munching hay in a line on a concrete floor and then being attached to an electronic milking machine, it is quite amazing!

The second story is again just short of brilliant. It seems that lactoferrin, a protein found in cow's milk, has been shown to inhibit growth of of HIV. Further, it can attach to dendritic cells in the host and circumvent HIV's path to the lymph nodes (and eventual decimation of the immune system). Of course, the lead scientist warns,

"This discovery does not, I repeat not, mean that drinking lots of milk will protect you from getting AIDS. Lactoferrin will simply be broken down in the stomach."

However, that still makes me glad that I had my yogurt this morning!

Signing off, as always, is your favorite (and lactose tolerant) Balti-whore!

13 November 2006: I have a new venue

2006-11-13T10:57:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody ... I just got an invite to join It's Raining Men. Come over and give us a visit!

13 November 2006: Outsourcing at McDonald's?

2006-11-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a bust for me. I spent nearly four hours at my ex-mother-in-law's house (wow, that was a lot of dashes!) trying to connect my old laptop (that I am giving to her to replace her defunct desktop) to her dial-up MSN account. OK, before you lambast the use of dial-up in this century, she really only uses it to read and send e-mails. She doesn't seem to mind the slowness of the computer. Perhaps it is comforting that she is faster than the machine! Anyway, in the course of trying to get things set, I had to call MSN Technical Support. Well, that was fun. I spent nearly twenty minutes with an Indian gentleman named Randy. The conversation went something like this ...

Randy: "Hello, may I have the telephone number of the account in question?"

Me: "Yes, it is (XXX) XXX-XXXX. This is my mother-in-law's account."

Randy: "Thank you, let me confirm that I have the number correct [recites number]"

Me: "Yes, that is correct"

Randy: "Thank you, the number is [recites number]. What is your name?"

Me: "My name is Richard, but it is my mother-in-law's account and her name is ..."

Randy: "Thank you, let me confirm that your name is Richard, may I call you Richard?"

Me: "Yes, you may."

And so on. It seemed everytime I answered a question it took him one or two times to confirm. After spending twenty excruciating minutes with Randy, I was transfered to Harold (another Indian gentleman) because the tools at Randy's "disposal were not adequate to address the complexity of my problem." Harold wasn't as bad ... but it sill took another 40 minutes for him to tell me to download the updated version of MSN and try again.

Now, this morning, I here on NPR that a number of fast food chains are exploring ways to shave time off of each drive-thru transaction. One of these ways is the use of RFID equipped credit cards and card readers. You simply hold your card out the window and it is charged for your Big Mac and fries. The other, and much more scary, way is the use of remote call centers (or centres) to handle the drive-thru order process. I can just imagine it ...

McD call center (in heavily accented Indian voice): "Hello, my name is Tiffany, may I take your order?"

Customer: "Yeah, I'll have a number 2 with a Coke"

Tiffany: "Thank you very much sir. Let me confirm. You will be ordering a number 2 Big Mac with fries meal and a Coke to drink. Is that correct?"

Customer: "Yeah, sure"

Tiffany: "Would you like to purchase an apple pie or an ice cream cone with that?"

Customer: "No"

Tiffany: "Thank you, let me confirm. You would not like an apple pie and you would not like an ice cream cone with that order."

Customer: "Yeah ... I mean no. Shit, I just want my Big Mac"

Tiffany: "Thank you, I confirm that you just want your Big Mac and fries with a Coke to drink. That will be three dollars and fifty-two cents US. Please drive to the first window. If you have any questions or comments about this order, please call toll-free to 1-888-968-7825."

Customer: "Whatever ... bitch."

Can you imagine the grief that the actually employee at window 1 is going to have to deal with? It sounds like a raise in the minimum wage is very much in order!

6 November 2006: Apparently, I don't exist!

2006-11-06T08:39:00.000-05:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
0
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Or maybe I only exist on some ethereal plain. You know, the kind where everyone wears flowing white gowns and listens to Yanni (his music and not him beating his girlfriend!). Oh well, I guess I had better make sure that all of my white gowns get back from the cleaners without any stains on them!

01 November 2006: Let's hear it for the Bush twins

2006-11-01T10:09:00.001-05:00

31 October 2006: And my other cousin Darryl

2006-10-31T09:15:00.000-05:00

So, I am breaking in a new computer. Over the weekend (at my oldest daughter's Halloween Party - actually just before), the monitor on my Dell laptop was cracked - I won't go in to how that happened! Not only could I only see 2/3 of the screen, but the whole system started acting wonky. I'm sending it in to be repaired, but I needed a computer NOW. So, I treked out to the Apple store and made the switch. I am now typing on a sleek black MacBook. Because I use my laptop to run SAS, I needed to run BootCamp so that I can have Windows XP professional running. While I am not all hot-under-the-collar like Dan was when he made the initial switch, it does take some getting used to.

The funniest thing happened when I was setting up the Mac side. I was typing my information and the computer prompted me to choose an icon for my user name. Well, I looked down at the screen and there was a picture of me. I was thinking that the computer must be possessed. How on earth did this computer get a picture of me right out of the box like that? I'm not super-slow, but it did take me a moment (can you define that length of time?) to realize that it was the built-in inSight camera capturing my image. It gave me a good chuckle, though!

In playing with the inSight camera and I found some interesting pictures of my family members from Kentucky (I actually do have family in KY, so don't call me a hater!). Here they are ...

That was my uncle Jed ...

That was my cousin Larry ...

And that was Darryl and my other cousin Darryl.

So, now I just have to figure out how to use this thing for work! Signing of as always, is your favorite (computer-whiz bang) Balti-whore!

27.5 October 2006: A rose is a rose, or is it?

2006-10-27T15:14:00.000-04:00

As a card carrying (and Pride festival sweating) member of Equality Maryland, I get routine updates from the head office. It is a great way to keep up with everything LGBT and to keep abreast of events happening in my state. If your state (or province, bitches) has such an organization, I strongly suggest that you either send them money, donate your time, or do both!

Here is something that was in my inbox based on the recent NJ Supreme Court ruling. Apparently, a win isn't a win, especially when wishy-washy politicians can take the easy way out of supporting full equality for all citizens!

Dear LGBTI New Jerseyans and our millions of straight allies across New Jersey:

I'd like to take a moment, if you'll allow, to have a frank discussion about one of the more unique phenomena that emerged from yesterday's decision on marriage equality. We can't recall seeing so many divergent reactions from our community and supporters to any single event. Many of the reactions were diametrically opposed: Some activists and organizations portrayed the decision as "a big win" or "total victory." Other activists and organizations portrayed the decision as all but a loss -- a bad day when we had expected a total win. Still others, most people actually, had a reaction in between.

We're all over the map as a community. It's understandable -- well, at least the opinions in the middle are understandable -- given the complex nature of the ruling. On the one hand, not a single justice said same-sex couples are unworthy of equal protection. On the other hand, we did not get marriage equality, though it's now up to us to make it happen in the legislature within 180 days.

It's not heaven, it's not hell, it's purgatory.

But here's the problem with telling anyone, whether your family, friends or even journalists, that the decision is a victory: It will hurt our efforts to win marriage equality in the next 180 days. It will, I swear to you, it will. But more on that in a moment.

Describing the decision as a victory at this premature juncture is wrong. If we don't win the label "marriage," we will NOT have equal protection under the law. You know this too well from following our e-mails on the late Lieutenant Laurel Hester. Without the label marriage, couples like Lt. Hester and her partner, and scores of others across New Jersey, have been told time and again, "we don't care with the law says, you're not married."

As we've said a million times and we'll say a million times more, marriage is the only currency of commitment the real world universally accepts. We're not fighting for the label marriage for some moral, ethereal right. We're fighting for the label marriage because it's the only way a gay civil rights law will work in the real world.

And that's what you have to tell everyone you know. Were you to tell folks "it's a win" -- and to be sure, 90 percent of our community and our supporters believe otherwise -- it would tie the hands of those of us at Garden State Equality working every day in Trenton to get a real win: Marriage equality.

Because then legislators would tell us, "You know, we're hearing people call the Supreme Court decision a win. Why are you pressing so hard for marriage then?"

I'll go beyond that point, and this I plead to you with all my heart. A nuanced statement, along the lines of "it's a win, it's not everything we wanted, but it's a win," will still hurt our efforts for marriage equality.

First, such statements would be a lifeline to legislators whom we have got to win over. People hear what they want to hear, particularly legislators looking for an excuse not to do the right thing. They'll grasp onto the clause in a nuanced sentence that gives them an out.

Second, the art of political communications tells us that both the general public and the power-elites, from the press to public officials to others who hold our fate in their hands, don't process nuanced statements well.

If you tell someone, "the decision is a win, but blah, blah, blah," you can bet the "blah, blah, blah" caveat won't be processed and/or reported. People will only hear the headline, i.e. "It's a win." And that would devastate our efforts.

It would lead to reactions like this: "Well, I just read that someone in your community called this a win, I don't understand why you're now saying it's not. Sounds like this civil unions idea is a sensible solution."

Friends, we have 180 days to win 100% marriage equality in the state legislature, as the Supreme Court ruled. I personally plead with you, with every bone and fiber in my body -- and I'm joined by thousands of others at Garden State Equality -- that even if part of you thinks it this was a win in the context of history, it's not what your message should be at this most sensitive, pressure-filled time.

The bottom line is this: Marriage is the only currency of commitment the real world universally accepts. Anything short of marriage equality deprives LGBTI families of the equal protection they so desperately need. Contraptions short of marriage, like civil unions and domestic partnerships, do not provide that protection, as we've learned through the New Jersey experience. Thus we do not have a win yet.

But we're going to work our hearts out to make that happen within 180 days. We're counting on you to be by our side.

Thanks for listening, as it were. All of us at Garden State Equality appreciate you from the heart.

Warmly, Steven Goldstein, Chair of Garden State Equality

So there you have it ... it ain't a win ... just another step in the struggle.

27 October 2006: Politics as usual

2006-10-27T09:47:00.000-04:00

A few days after celebrating the New Jersey Supreme Court ruling that gay couples are entitled to the same legal rights and financial benefits as heterosexual couples, we see that the Republican Party is up to their usual tricks. Using our struggle for civil rights as the next great threat to America ... to its way of life, to its moral values, to its security (we are a lot tougher than Osama)! They've even trotted out a new ad against Harold Ford in TN saying that he supports gay marriage (like that's a bad thing). Of course, the Ford campaign has released their own message calling the Republican ad "dirty, rotten lies" (I guess he thinks that is is a bad thing) If he's the new democrat ... then I will move to Canada!

It seems that in states all across the union, the Republicans are painting this as the very reason that they should be sent to Washington. Instead of the Red Scare of the 50s, think of this as the Lavender Scare of the 00s. What I really can't understand is how this is an issue at all. I was watching Lou Dobbs on the re-run of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night. Granted that isn't a heavy hitting news program, but it often provides a clearer view of national issues than some of the more glossy news programs to which we are subjected. Lou was talking about the War on the Middle Class (incidentally the title of his new book). In this, he talked about how corporate tax rates were the lowest since the end of WWII - while wages have remained stagnant for the past 30+ years. He talked about how the public education system in this country (granted, there are multiple systems) is being allowed to wither on the vine. Once the great equalized in an egalitarian society, it no longer serves as an opportunity for the poor to move up in class through learning.

I fear that perhaps I was among the last generation to benefit from this form of class escape - education. I was born to a pair of working class parents. My dad toiled at shift work in a sugar refinery here in Baltimore. Anyone using Domino Sugar in their tea today? I was determined not to end up in a factory job or some other dead-end vocation - so I applied myself to academia. I didn't have the finesse or the form to be good at athletics, so I knew that my brain was my way out. I did quite well in school - without really having to study. I graduated third in my class of about 300 people. To this day, I wonder if I could have been the valedictorian if I had applied myself more. Of course, I would have been scared shitless to give the speech at graduation. You see, even though I am confident speaking now, then I was terrified of my lisp rearing its ugly head (or tongue).

During my junior year, I took the SATs and was satisfied with my score of 1390. That mixed with decent grades and a crucial role in establishing a chapter of Amnesty International at my high school helped me get in to Johns Hopkins for undergraduate. Not a bad way to jump the class divide, huh? The funny thing is even after getting accepted, my guidance counselor had the nerve to say to me, "I don't know how you got in there?" Thanks for the vote of confidence, bitch!

You know, as I look at my fellow students with whom I graduated high school, perhaps that great equalizer was already dead. Most of them muddled through community college and took jobs that weren't that lofty over their parents. The valedictorian, a naturalized American from South Korea, failed out of the Naval Academy due to alcoholism and was punted to junior officer status on submarines. The salutatorian, a fellow American of Polish descent, earned an undergraduate degree in bean-counting - I don't know what else happened to him. A few others have shone, however for many it's been a struggle to find themselves in the new economy.

Maybe that is why I am making a serious financial committment to sending my daughters to a well established and academically rigorous private school. I want to give them the push forward to the next level. I know that to get where I am today has been a constant struggle against the odds. That isn't something that I want for them. I don't want them to feel pressure; however, I do want them to realize from a very early age that anything is possible for them. Perhaps that is where the great equalizer is failing society. By not giving the children of today a glimpse of what they could become ...

... signing off, as always, is your favorite (ranty-panty) Balti-whore.

20 October 2006: The man has lost his mind

2006-10-20T16:18:00.000-04:00

And you thought I would be talking about Georgie boy. We'll leave him alone for the moment.

In June, foreign news executives were taken aback when Putin hit back at a question about whether Russia would favor sanctions against Iran if it failed to stop enriching uranium.

"What if my grandmother had certain sexual attributes?" he snapped, dismissing the question as merely rhetorical. "Then she would be my grandfather."

The Associated Press